Do you know any Mormon missionaries, and do you have questions for them?
A Mormon missionary is a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS). They’re mostly unmarried individuals or older couples, mostly retired, who volunteer to live a life of service for the church and community, while proselytizing.
Over the years, many misconceptions and controversies have been associated with these missionaries, following their rules and the lives they live.
People often attack returned missionaries with ridiculous questions, even on the internet, anti-Mormons ask silly and funny questions, mostly to make fun of them.
In this article, I’ll be discussing some funny questions you can ask Mormon missionaries. However, bear in mind that these questions are just for fun and aren’t meant to scorn them.
15 Funny Questions to Ask Mormon Missionaries
If you have a friend, relative, or anyone around who’s a Mormon missionary and you want to tease them with some funny questions, this article has all you need.
From questions surrounding their lifestyle to plain ridiculous questions, you’re both sure to have a good laugh and learn.
Here are 15 humorous questions to ask Mormon missionaries:
- Do you have your planet kept for you after your death?
- Do you worship seagulls?
- Do you practice plural marriage?
- Do you use running water in your home?
- Do you use magic underwear?
- Why do you think coffee is evil?
- How many mothers do you have?
- Can you teach me your secret handshake?
- What wife are you?
- How do you deal with the cold at night?
- Why are you all scared of television?
- Do you know what the internet is?
- If you’re afraid of water, how then do you bathe?
- Do you and your companion have mind communication before you know when to arise?
- Do you know what year we are in?
Do You Have Your Planet Kept for You After Your Death?
One of the questions you can ask a Mormon missionary is the question about having a planet for them after death.
One of the rumors that have been associated with the Mormons is that they have a planet prepared for them after death, that is each Mormon has their own.
Whether this is true or not, you can tease them with this speculation. Just like Christians believe that there’s heaven and earth, Christian denominations have their doctrines they teach their members, which can differ across denominations.
So, if you want to find out whether this rumor is true, then the missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are the best people to ask.
Besides, it’s a funny way to engage them and have a good time.
Do You Worship Seagulls?
“Do you worship seagulls?” is another question to ask a Mormon missionary.
First, there’s a traditional story about the miracle of seagulls that happened with members of the Latter-Day Saints.
This story tells the incident that happened with the first LDS inhabitants of Salt Lake Valley in 1847. Crickets had invaded their farm and eaten their crops, leaving them at war with these insects and a risk of no harvest.
However, gulls came months later, just as the crickets had come, but this time around they feasted on the crickets.
This supposed miracle happened for several years, which made the church hold the gull in reverence, and built a monument at Salt Lake City’s Temple Square.
So, asking a Mormon missionary if they worship Seagulls is another way to tease them to get a laugh from them.
Do You Practice Plural Marriage?
“Do you practice plural marriage?” is another question to ask a Mormon missionary.
It’s a question they’re likely to find funny. However, they should enjoy telling you more about this doctrine.
At first, the LDS had practiced polygamy between 1840 and 1890. However, this practice is no longer held today.
While it’s clear that the LDS of today keep to the doctrine of one man and one woman, you can use this question to playfully tease a Mormon missionary.
Do You Use Running Waters in Your Home?
Another hilarious question to ask a Mormon missionary is, “Do you use running water in your home?”
It’s a ridiculous question that implies that they live in ancient times or are not familiar with modern facilities.
Since the founding of the LDS church in 1830, the missionaries have lived guided by rules.
And although some of these rules have been modified to suit the present times, many people, especially non-members of the LDS, find them ancient.
So, asking a Mormon missionary if they use running waters tells them that you think they’re living in old times. It’s a humorous way to make fun of them.
Do You Use Magic Underwear?
“Do you use magic underwear?” is another silly question to ask a Mormon missionary.
Mormon missionaries don’t wear magic underwear but Temple garments. However, some people have taken to calling these garments magic underwear, usually to make fun of them.
Also, this is a question that many LDS members will find offensive. So, if you’re going to ask a Mormon missionary this question, ensure it’s with someone who understands that you’re only making a joke.
Why Do You Think Coffee Is Evil?
Another hilarious question to throw at a Mormon missionary is,“Why do you think coffee is evil?”
This question is borne from the doctrines that guide members of the LDS. One such rule is abstinence from coffee.
So, this is a ridiculous question that implies that they’re told to avoid coffee because it’s evil.
However, that is not the case, as they believe that caffeine amongst other substances is unhealthy.
Therefore, you can ask a Mormon missionary this question to get a good laugh.
How Many Mothers Do You Have?
“How many mothers do you have?” is one of the many questions to ask a Mormon missionary to poke fun at them.
This is another question that references the old doctrine of plural marriage. It’s a funny way to hint that you think their father married more than one wife.
However, not everyone will find this question. Some are likely to find it offensive. So, ensure you ask this question to someone who’ll understand it’s all for fun.
Moreover, it’s just a way to playfully engage your missionary friend, as they’re sure to get the joke.
Can You Teach Me Your Secret Handshake?
Another funny question to ask a Mormon missionary is, “Can you teach me your secret handshake?”
The Mormons don’t have a secret handshake but have a ritual they perform in temples and ceremonies that involve handshaking.
This ritual is symbolic and held sacred, so discussions are limited about it. However, typical humans always try to find fun in almost everything, so some people have labeled it a secret handshake.
If you have a Mormon missionary friend, you can playfully ask them this question. Moreover, it can serve as a way to gain more insight into their doctrines.
What Wife Are You?
“What wife are you?” is a hilarious question for a female Mormon missionary often referred to as a sister.
It’s another question that references their old doctrine of plural marriage, suggesting that you believe they’re in a polygamous marriage.
However, as I’ve earlier mentioned, young and unmarried individuals are often recommended for missions. While married couples can go, younger couples are often encouraged to focus on family life, as that’s their first point of duty.
So, most times you might come across unmarried individuals on a mission. Asking them this question is sure to get a good laugh. However, asking a married sister this question might get her offended.
So, ensure they understand you’re only Joking.
How Do You Deal with the Cold at Night?
Another funny question to ask a Mormon missionary is, “How do you deal with the cold at night?”
Since missionaries dedicate their time to serving and leading a prayerful life, they follow a set of rules that don’t allow them to engage in any form of intimate activities like flirting, kissing, hugging, etc.
They share a room with their companion but don’t sleep on the same bed.
So, this question is a humorous one that makes fun of their situation, implying that they’ll always be cold at night since they have no one beside them.
However, it’s a question that’ll work for the unmarried missionaries.
Why Are You All Scared of Television?
One of the rules that LDS missionaries follow is the avoidance of worldly entertainment. Amongst other things, they’re not allowed to watch television.
So, this is a humorous question to ask a Mormon missionary. It makes fun of their situation, suggesting that they don’t watch television because they’re afraid.
Do You Know What the Internet Is?
“Do you know what the internet is?” is another question that makes fun of the Mormon missionaries.
Previously, rules guiding the missionaries were very strict and included no use of the Internet.
However, some of these rules have been adjusted. Besides, there’s now evangelism on social media.
So, asking a Mormon missionary if they know what the internet is is a perfect way to ridicule them and cause a good laugh.
If You’re Afraid of Water, How Then Do You Bathe?
Another rule that guides Mormon missionaries while on service is the no-swimming rule.
While on the mission, they’re not allowed to swim and engage in some other sporting activities.
The reason they’re not allowed to swim is to prevent drowning or other related incidents.
So, this question is just a way to poke fun at them.
Do You and Your Companion Have Mind Communication Before You Know When to Arise?
Another rule that guides Mormon missionaries is that they shouldn’t arise before their companion, and I’m wondering how that is possible, just like you might be.
Do they set an alarm? Even if they did, how do they know how to arise at the same time?
This is a question Mormon missionaries need to tell us, and even I am curious to know.
So, you can ask a Mormon missionary this question and get a good laugh. Besides, they might just tell you how they do it.
Do You Know What Year We Are in?
Another silly question to ask a LDS missionary is, “Do you know what year we are in?”
It makes fun of them by suggesting that they’re not in touch with what is happening around them.
Also, it’s something you can ask a missionary who just returned from a mission. It means that you think they were somewhere very remote and could’ve lost track of time.
They’re certainly going to find this question hilarious.
Final Words
If you know any Mormon missionary, you can engage them with these funny questions to learn more about their faith and laugh with them.
However, ensure they’re someone who can take a joke and won’t get offended by some of them.