Freemasonry is a centuries-old fraternal organization rich in mystery and tradition. If you have ever been curious about what Freemasons do, what they believe in, or how they operate, asking the right questions can reveal valuable information.
In this article, I have compiled a list of 50 questions to ask a Freemason to learn more about the organization’s principles, rituals, and history.
50 Questions to Ask a Freemason
- So, what’s the secret handshake? Or will you have to kill me if you tell me?
- How many aprons do you own? Is it a collection thing, or do you just like to cook?
- Is there a secret Freemason recipe book, or is that just for the Illuminati?
- Can you explain Freemasonry without using the word “secret”?
- How often do you get asked if you’re in the Illuminati, and does it annoy you yet?
- Do you guys really control the world, or is that just on Tuesdays?
- What’s with the square and compass? Is it just a fancy logo or something more?
- How many secret meetings have you attended this week? Or is that classified?
- Is it true that Freemasons never get lost because you’re always carrying around a compass?
- Are Freemason meetings like Fight Club? First rule: Don’t talk about it?
- If I join, do I get a cool ring or just a lifelong supply of aprons?
- Can you tell me what goes on in the temple, or is it like Vegas; what happens there stays there?
- Do you need to know how to build things, or is that just a myth?
- How many times have you been asked about the Templars? Be honest.
- Can you teach me how to keep a secret? Because I’ve got some gossip I need to lock down.
- What’s the weirdest misconception someone’s had about Freemasonry?
- Do you guys really have secret plans for world domination, or is that just a side hustle?
- What’s the initiation process like? Do I need to bring my own goat?
- If you tell me the truth about Freemasonry, will I understand it, or is it like explaining the internet to my grandma?
- Do you get to wear the apron at home, or is it strictly for lodge business?
- What’s the connection between Freemasons and the pyramids? Should I start brushing up on my hieroglyphics?
- Have you ever met someone who thinks Freemasonry is a type of masonry company?
- Is it true that Freemasons know the secret to eternal youth, or do you just age really well?
- Can women join, or is it like an all-boys club with a very strict dress code?
- How do I know if someone’s a Freemason? Do you guys have a secret wink or something?
- Is there a Freemason equivalent of Hogwarts? And if so, where do I sign up?
- How many conspiracy theories do you laugh at per week? Do you keep a tally?
- If I ask too many questions, will you have to recruit me, or just make me forget we had this conversation?
- Do you guys have a favorite conspiracy theory about yourselves, or are they all equally amusing?
- How do you keep a straight face when someone asks if you control the government?
- Are there levels in Freemasonry, or is that just a video game thing?
- If I join, do I get to know where all the hidden treasure is, or is that reserved for higher-ups?
- Can you really trust a Freemason with your secrets, or do you guys have a “share with the lodge” policy?
- How do you recruit new members? Is there a secret app for that?
- Do Freemasons actually build things, or is that just a clever cover story?
- What’s the best Freemason joke you’ve heard? And how many times has it been repeated?
- Do you ever get tired of the “Are you a wizard?” jokes, or is that just part of the deal?
- Is there a secret Freemason language, or do you just communicate with knowing glances?
- Do Freemasons ever do charity work, or is it all about world domination and secret handshakes?
- What’s the biggest myth about Freemasonry that you wish people would stop believing?
- If Freemasonry had a theme song, what would it be? And do you sing it at meetings?
- Is there a Freemason dress code? Like, do you all have to wear black and gold?
- How does one become a Freemason? Do you just walk in and say, “I’m ready”?
- Can Freemasons talk about their day jobs, or is that too mundane for secret society meetings?
- Are Freemason gatherings more like a frat party or a chess club? Be honest.
- What’s the most surprising thing you’ve learned as a Freemason?
- Do you have to pass a test to join, or is it more about who you know?
- What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened at a lodge meeting?
- Are there any Freemason holiday traditions, or do you just wing it?
- If you could tell the world one thing about Freemasonry, what would it be?
1. So, what’s the secret handshake? Or will you have to kill me if you tell me?
This is the most common question people have when they hear the term “Freemason.” It is a lighthearted approach to explore the Freemason mystery without anticipating a definitive response.
While joking about how dramatic it is all, the humor here acknowledges the secrecy.
2. How many aprons do you own? Is it a collection thing, or do you just like to cook?
The aprons worn by Freemasons are a well-known symbol of their craft. This question takes a humorous turn by comparing aprons to a collection or a cooking accessory.
It is a lighthearted way to bring up the symbolism without being too serious or offensive.
3. Is there a secret Freemason recipe book, or is that just for the Illuminati?
This question plays on the myth that secret societies have hidden knowledge by referring to a recipe book.
It is a funny way to link the Freemasons to more bizarre conspiracies involving groups like the Illuminati.
4. Can you explain Freemasonry without using the word “secret”?
This question challenges Freemasons to define their organization without using the word everyone associates with them.
It is a clever and non-offensive way to see how they approach the typical narrative while keeping the conversation light.
5. How often do you get asked if you’re in the Illuminati, and does it annoy you yet?
Freemasons are frequently associated with the Illuminati in conspiracy theories.
This question acknowledges that while demonstrating that you understand the humor (and potential frustration) that they must be experiencing. It is a way to connect over the ridiculousness of such assumptions.
6. Do you guys really control the world, or is that just on Tuesdays?
This question humorously exaggerates the conspiracy theory that Freemasons control the world, adding a playful twist by restricting their influence to only one day of the week. It is a light way to bring up a serious subject.
7. What’s with the square and compass? Is it just a fancy logo or something more?
Freemasonry symbols are iconic, but not everyone knows what they represent. This question combines curiosity with a sense of humour, treating the symbols like a trendy logo and inviting an explanation.
8. How many secret meetings have you attended this week? Or is that classified?
The concept of secret meetings is an important part of Freemasonry’s mystique. This question acknowledges that some things may be “classified” without providing actual details, while still riffing on the cliché in a lighthearted way.
9. Is it true that Freemasons never get lost because you’re always carrying around a compass?
This question makes fun of Freemasons’ literal use of compass usage by making it seem like an exaggeration that they never get lost. It’s a fun way to reference one of their key symbols without getting too serious.
10. Are Freemason meetings like Fight Club? First rule: Don’t talk about it?
Freemason meetings are supposed to be secretive, so drawing parallels between them and Fight Club pop culture adds a pop culture element to the discussion.
It presents the secrecy in a lighthearted manner in keeping with modern times.
11. If I join, do I get a cool ring or just a lifelong supply of aprons?
This question again makes fun of the notion that people join for the “cool” accessories, such as the recognizable Freemason ring, but it also brings up aprons.
It is a means to maintain the tone lighthearted and directed toward the group’s more concrete characteristics.
12. Can you tell me what goes on in the temple, or is it like Vegas—what happens there stays there?
Drawing a parallel between Freemason temples and the famous saying about Las Vegas adds a humorous twist to the secrecy. It’s a way to ask about what happens inside without expecting a straightforward answer.
13. Do you need to know how to build things, or is that just a myth?
Many people associate Freemasonry with actual masonry work because of the name. This question addresses the misconception in a humorous way, combining curiosity with a playful jab at the literal interpretation of the group’s name.
14. How many times have you been asked about the Templars? Be honest.
The Knights Templar are often linked to Freemasonry in popular culture and conspiracy theories. This question brings that up with a humorous nod to the likely frequency of such inquiries.
15. Can you teach me how to keep a secret? Because I’ve got some gossip I need to lock down.
Freemasons are known for their discretion and secrecy. This question humorously asks if they can impart some of that skill to help keep juicy gossip under wraps, blending humor with an acknowledgment of their reputation for secrecy.
16. What’s the weirdest misconception someone’s had about Freemasonry?
Everyone loves a good story, especially when it involves misconceptions. This question invites the Freemason to share a funny or bizarre anecdote, keeping the conversation light while also debunking myths.
17. Do you guys really have secret plans for world domination, or is that just a side hustle?
This question, which plays on grand conspiracy theories about Freemasons, humorously suggests that world dominance may be more of a hobby than a serious pursuit. It is a fun way to acknowledge and dismiss outrageous claims.
18. What’s the initiation process like? Do I need to bring my own goat?
The mystery surrounding initiation ceremonies frequently fuels irrational fantasies. This question exaggerates that by jokingly asking if a goat is required, playing on the most outlandish of initiation myths.
19. If you tell me the truth about Freemasonry, will I understand it, or is it like explaining the internet to my grandma?
This question is humorous because it compares the complexity of Freemasonry to something notoriously difficult to explain to an older generation. It is a way to ask for clarification while acknowledging that it may be difficult to understand.
20. Do you get to wear the apron at home, or is it strictly for lodge business?
This question injects humor into the discussion of Masonic aprons, treating them like a piece of casual wear rather than a symbol of the craft. It’s a playful way to explore the formality of Masonic attire.
21. What’s the connection between Freemasons and the pyramids? Should I start brushing up on my hieroglyphics?
The pyramids are often linked to secret societies in conspiracy theories. This question connects Freemasonry to ancient Egyptian lore, implying that studying hieroglyphics is part of the journey.
22. Have you ever met someone who thinks Freemasonry is a type of masonry company?
Given the name, it is understandable that someone might mistake Freemasonry for actual masonry. This question adds humor by imagining such a misunderstanding and mocking the group’s name.
23. Is it true that Freemasons know the secret to eternal youth, or do you just age really well?
Freemasons are often depicted as wise and seemingly ageless in fiction. This question taps into that image with a playful inquiry about the secret to their longevity, mixing humor with curiosity.
24. Can women join, or is it like an all-boys club with a very strict dress code?
Freemasonry has traditionally been a male-only organization, which this question humorously compares to an exclusive boys’ club with a strict dress code. It is a humorous way to bring up a serious topic.
25. How do I know if someone’s a Freemason? Do you guys have a secret wink or something?
This question adds a humorous twist to the concept of secret signals among Freemasons, implying a playful gesture such as a wink. It’s a light-hearted way to ask about recognition signs.
26. Is there a Freemason equivalent of Hogwarts? And if so, where do I sign up?
Comparing Freemasonry to the magical world of Hogwarts adds a fun pop culture reference, with the possibility of a secret Masonic school. It is a playful way to inquire about their education and training.
27. How many conspiracy theories do you laugh at per week? Do you keep a tally?
Freemasons are the subject of many conspiracy theories. This question humorously imagines them keeping track of how frequently they encounter such theories, emphasizing the absurdity of some of the claims.
28. If I ask too many questions, will you have to recruit me, or just make me forget we had this conversation?
This question plays on the idea that Freemasons are always looking for new members, or that they might erase your memory if you know too much. It’s a funny way to acknowledge the mystery while keeping things light.
29. Do you guys have a favorite conspiracy theory about yourselves, or are they all equally amusing?
With so many theories out there, it’s natural to wonder if Freemasons have a favorite. This question humorously suggests they might rank them for entertainment value, adding a light-hearted touch to a serious topic.
30. How do you keep a straight face when someone asks if you control the government?
The idea that Freemasons control world governments is one of the most persistent conspiracy theories. This question acknowledges the absurdity of the claim by asking how they manage not to laugh when confronted with it.
31. Are there levels in Freemasonry, or is that just a video game thing?
The concept of secret meetings is an important part of Freemasonry’s mystique. It’s a modern and playful way to ask about the structure of the organization.
32. If I join, do I get to know where all the hidden treasure is, or is that reserved for higher-ups?
Treasure hunts and hidden riches are common in stories about secret societies. This question adds a playful twist by suggesting that such knowledge is only available to those who advance far enough in the ranks.
33. Can you really trust a Freemason with your secrets, or do you guys have a “share with the lodge” policy?
Freemasons are known for keeping secrets, but this question humorously asks if those secrets are ever shared within the group. It’s a light-hearted way to explore the concept of trust among members.
34. How do you recruit new members? Is there a secret app for that?
Recruitment is often shrouded in mystery, so this question brings a modern twist by suggesting the existence of a secret app. It’s a fun way to ask about the process in today’s digital age.
35. Do Freemasons actually build things, or is that just a clever cover story?
This question adds humor by suggesting that the whole idea of Freemasons being builders is just a cover story. It’s a playful way to challenge the literal interpretation of the group’s name.
36. What’s the best Freemason joke you’ve heard? And how many times has it been repeated?
Every group has inside jokes, and this question asks the Freemason to share one. It is a fun way to lighten the mood and perhaps gain insight into the lodge’s sense of humor.
37. Do you ever get tired of the “Are you a wizard?” jokes, or is that just part of the deal?
Freemasons are sometimes jokingly referred to as wizards due to the mysterious nature of their rituals. This question acknowledges that, while asking if they’ve grown weary of the comparison.
38. Is there a secret Freemason language, or do you just communicate with knowing glances?
The idea of a secret language is another common myth. This question adds a humorous twist by suggesting that Freemasons might simply rely on knowing glances to communicate, keeping the conversation light.
39. Do Freemasons ever do charity work, or is it all about world domination and secret handshakes?
Freemasonry has a long history of charitable work, but this question humorously contrasts that with the more sensational ideas about world domination. It’s a way to bring up the group’s positive contributions without getting too serious.
40. What’s the biggest myth about Freemasonry that you wish people would stop believing?
There are many myths and misconceptions, and this question asks Freemasons to discuss the most persistent ones. It’s a more serious question but still framed in a way that invites an engaging discussion.
41. If Freemasonry had a theme song, what would it be? And do you sing it at meetings?
Talking about Freemasonry becomes more enjoyable and musical when it is done with a theme song in mind. It is a lighthearted and humorous way to inquire about the culture within the group.
42. Is there a Freemason dress code? Like, do you all have to wear black and gold?
This question humorously imagines a strict dress code for Freemasons, playing on the idea of uniformity within secret societies. It’s a light-hearted way to bring up the topic of attire.
43. How does one become a Freemason? Do you just walk in and say, “I’m ready”?
The process of becoming a Freemason is often seen as mysterious. This question humorously oversimplifies it, adding a playful twist to the idea of initiation and recruitment.
44. Can Freemasons talk about their day jobs, or is that too mundane for secret society meetings?
This question adds humor by suggesting thatFreemasons might find everyday conversations about work too ordinary for their secretive meetings.
It’s a playful way to contrast the intrigue surrounding Freemasonry with the reality that members are regular people with regular jobs.
45. Do you have a secret handshake for every occasion, or just the one for meetings?
Secret handshakes are one of the most famous elements associated with Freemasonry. This question adds humor by suggesting there could be a variety of them, tailored to different situations, playing on the mystery surrounding these rituals.
46. How often do you get asked about the Illuminati, and do you ever just roll your eyes?
The connection between Freemasonry and the Illuminati is a popular topic in conspiracy theories. This question humorously suggests that Freemasons might get tired of the association and even roll their eyes at the mention of it.
47. Is there a Freemason retirement plan, or do you just keep the secrets until the end?
This question humorously asks whether Freemasons ever get to retire from their duties, blending the seriousness of lifelong membership with the practical concerns of retirement.
48. What’s the most elaborate conspiracy theory you’ve heard about Freemasonry, and did it make you laugh?
Conspiracy theories can get quite elaborate. This question invites the Freemason to share the most over-the-top one they’ve encountered, adding a humorous element by assuming it was laughable.
49. Do you get special discounts at hardware stores because of the whole “masonry” thing?
This question adds humor by playing on the literal interpretation of the word “masonry,” suggesting that Freemasons might get special treatment at hardware stores, which ties back to the confusion about the group’s actual purpose.
50. If I join, do I get a cool ring, or is that just a myth?
Masonic rings are often seen as symbols of membership. This question humorously asks if getting one is a guarantee upon joining, playing on the allure of secret societies offering tangible symbols of belonging.
FOOTNOTE
When asking a Freemason about their fraternity, the key is to approach the conversation with respect, curiosity, and an understanding of the boundaries that exist within the organization.
Don’t forget, the goal is not just to gather information but to build a respectful dialogue that both you and the Freemason find enriching.
The principles you apply here can be extended to any conversation about a subject that’s both intriguing and sensitive.
With the right approach, you can gain valuable insights while maintaining the integrity of the discussion.
