No one likes being spoken to harshly. If you’re on the receiving end of this, no matter who it is, it’s important to remember that their lousy attitude is their issue, not yours.
People who often lash out may be self-centered or have trouble controlling their anger.
Many would suggest that the best way to handle being snapped at this is to step away and avoid engaging.
However, sometimes you want to say something—not to argue back, but to make it clear that you won’t tolerate being spoken to in that way.
This article will guide you through 15 of the best responses you can use when someone snaps at you for any reason. We’ve also added tips on how to use each response effectively.
List of the Best Responses for When Someone Snaps at You
Here’s our list of the best things you can say once someone snaps at you. Some are to get back at them; some are more effective in getting the person to apologize.
- That attitude won’t fix what’s bothering you.
- Is that the best you’ve got?
- Don’t snap at me.
- Are you ok?
- I get that you’re frustrated. But be careful.
- Wow, someone’s feeling spicy today.
- Save that energy for someone who cares.
- Just shut up!
- Seems you left your manners at the door.
- What is your problem?
- Are you having a bad day?
- If I wanted drama, I’d watch a soap opera.
- Who do you think you are? Don’t you yell at me!
- We all deserve respect, and I’d never snap at you that way.
- Thanks for that; I needed a reminder of what not to be like.
The response you choose will depend on who you’re dealing with. You can usually tell if someone close to you is acting out of character, but dealing with strangers is a different story.
If you struggle with confrontation, you might find it challenging to respond when someone snaps at you, especially if they’re older or seem more authoritative.
Some of our readers have shared that they tend to stay quiet and feel bad about it for a long time afterward.
In the following sections, we’ll show you how to use our suggested replies to sound confident and assertive without worsening the situation.
1. That attitude won’t fix what’s bothering you
The phrase “That attitude won’t fix what’s bothering you” is grounded in the idea that when people snap at you, it’s often not because of something you did but because of something troubling them internally.
This response is one of the most effective ways to address someone who speaks harshly to you. It can help them calm down and recognize that their outburst was unnecessary.
To use this effectively, you’ll need to say it in a calm tone, which helps defuse the situation.
2. Is that the best you’ve got?
The truth is, you can’t control how someone else reacts, but when they snap at you, you can respond with, “Is that the best you’ve got?“
This response shows that their yelling does not faze you. It’s a clever way to protect yourself and maintain control over your side of the conversation.
However, be aware that this can make some people even more frustrated, especially if they realize they didn’t get under your skin.
In situations where you can’t just walk away, like if a customer is shouting at you while you’re at work, it’s important to stay safe.
If you use a response like this and sense that the situation could escalate, try to distance yourself or leave the area if possible.
3. Don’t snap at me
Another way to respond when someone snaps at you is to say, “Don’t snap at me calmly.” After saying this, it’s best to walk away immediately. This shows you won’t tolerate being yelled at without a good reason.
Walking away also gives them time to reflect on their behavior and realize their flare-up was unnecessary.
However, we know this approach may not work for everyone. For some, their voice shakes while saying these words, which can lead to tears.
If that’s the case, consider using a different response that doesn’t require a cold tone under pressure. This leads us to the next.
4. Are you ok?
Alternatively, when someone snaps at you, you can ask, “Are you okay?”
This isn’t about showing concern for their well-being but rather about calling out their inappropriate behavior.
To make this effective, give them a puzzled or skeptical look as you ask the question.
Often, this will make them realize that their reaction was over the top, leading to an apology.
If they continue being snappy, calmly tell them you’re not okay with being spoken to that way, and then walk away.
5. I get that you’re frustrated. But be careful
If the person snapping at you is someone you’d instead not argue with, and you want to defuse the situation quickly, you can say, “I get that you’re frustrated. But be careful.”
Before saying this, stay calm, make eye contact, and let them finish talking. They’ll usually apologize and rephrase what they said.
Notice the use of an “I”-statement here. Even if you think the other person is entirely at fault, using “I” statements can help, especially with someone close, like a partner.
You can also consider calling for a break by saying, “I need a little time to think.” This can disarm the angry person instead of making them more defensive.
6. Wow, someone’s feeling spicy today
Sometimes, when someone snaps at you, you might feel like giving a sassy comeback that makes them even more frustrated, letting you enjoy their irritation.
That’s where a sarcastic response like, “Wow, someone’s feeling spicy today,” can be effective.
Stressful moments, like when someone is angry at you, can trigger a “fight-or-flight” response, raising your heart rate.
But you have to stay calm and not let panic take over. So, deliver this line with a smirk, keeping your cool and showing that their attitude doesn’t rattle you.
7. Save that energy for someone who cares
Another clever way to keep calm when someone is snapping at you is to say, “Save that energy for someone who cares,” nonchalantly.
For maximum impact, walk away right after delivering this line, leaving them mid-rant.
This response strikes a balance—it’s not overly calm, but it’s not aggressive either.
It works well because staying calm helps defuse tension, while reacting with anger only escalates the situation and makes things worse.
8. Just shut up!
If you’re looking for an absolute snapback, you can go with “Just shut up!”
Not everyone prefers to stay passive, and that’s perfectly okay. Sometimes, it’s better to have a calculated outburst so that when you’re alone later, you won’t regret what you could have said but didn’t.
There are times when you just can’t help but snap back, and it can feel satisfying to respond to a nasty remark. Keeping it short and sharp, “Just shut up,” is effective for those moments.
9. Seems you left your manners at the door
“Seems you left your manners at the door” is a great way to respond when someone is rude.
It politely points out that they’re not being respectful.
This phrase is perfect for situations like when a student talks back to you in class or the office.
It can also be helpful in other similar situations where someone is acting out of line.
10. What is your problem?
If you ignore it when someone snaps at you, we know that sometimes you might want to say something back, often without thinking.
In moments like that, a question like “What’s your problem?” said with a raised voice can be effective.
You can also get outraged and feel like snapping back because you have feelings, too.
But the way you respond depends on who’s snapping at you. For example, if it’s your partner, you might want to ask, “What’s wrong?” instead of “What’s your problem?” See the difference?
11. Are you having a bad day?
Remember that how you respond to someone snapping depends on the situation.
If the person snapping at you is sick or not feeling well, consider their circumstances. In that case, a gentle question like “Are you having a bad day?” can be very helpful.
Even if you feel like snapping back, try to be cautious. Sometimes, it’s better to say something like, “Are you having a tough day?” or “Do you have a bad attitude today?”
12. If I wanted drama, I’d watch a soap opera
It can be tough to separate your own feelings when dealing with an angry person. Remember, their anger often means they haven’t learned a healthy way to handle tough situations.
In such cases, you can say, “If I wanted drama, I’d watch a soap opera,” to calmly remove yourself from the situation.
When using this response, keep your body relaxed. Stand with your feet firmly on the ground, shoulders back, and chest out.
Make eye contact to show that you’re calm and in control but not easily pushed around.
13. Who do you think you are? Don’t you yell at me!
If you’re looking for a way to respond sharply to someone, this phrase might be just what you need.
We don’t always suggest using it, but sometimes it’s necessary, especially if you’ve been enduring many insults from the same person.
You know that many people mistake kindness for weakness, and if you don’t reply in this manner occasionally, you will start getting stomped on.
14. We all deserve respect, and I’d never snap at you that way
Instead of snapping back when someone is rude, address the issue calmly and logically to encourage an apology.
You can say you don’t like how they treated you and won’t tolerate it again. Let them know that everyone deserves respect and that you’d never treat them that way.
You’ll be surprised how this approach can lead to an apology.
15. Thanks for that; I needed a reminder of what not to be like.
Trying to silence someone or stop them from expressing their feelings usually worsens things and increases their anger.
Instead, let them finish talking, continue with what you were doing, and then say, “Thanks for that. I needed a reminder of how not to act.”
Even though it can be tough to acknowledge someone’s anger, remember that anger often comes from feeling misunderstood or ignored.
What to Consider Before Replying to Someone Who Snaps at You
The response you choose from our 15 suggestions and how you deliver it will depend on a few things.
Sometimes, the best approach is to stare at them until they’re done, walk away without saying a word, and avoid communicating with them until they calm down and apologize.
But before you decide what to do, think about:
- Your current mood
- The setting you’re in and whether it’s appropriate to respond (like at work, in a meeting, or at church)
- Who is snapping at you (is it someone close to you, or just an acquaintance or colleague?)
- Whether they have a reason to be upset (did you do something terrible that could have triggered their reaction?)
- What they’re snapping about (responding to a spouse, child, or pet differs from dealing with a teammate, lecturer, or classmate).
Final Thoughts
When you respond to someone who snaps at you, instead of just walking away, remember that the problem lies with their frustration, not with you.
Regardless of how you respond—whether you snap back or give them space—let them cool off afterward. If they need something, offer to help once they’ve calmed down.
However, it is best to back off if you’ve been trying to help too much, and that’s what triggered their reaction.
What other responses can work when someone speaks to you harshly? Feel free to share your ideas in the comments below.
