If you’ve been invited to dinner, you’ll need to decide how to respond—whether you’ll attend, decline, or are still unsure.
Like with most polite replies, it’s not just about what you say but how you say it. So, if you plan to attend, you shouldn’t just say, “Yes, I’ll be there,” or if you can’t make it, simply saying, “No, I won’t be there,” isn’t enough.
In this article, you’ll learn the three best ways to reply to a dinner invitation. We’ve even included a sample message native English speakers use, which you can easily copy and send to the host.
4 Best Ways You Can Respond to a Dinner Invitation
Two key things are most important when replying to a dinner invitation: reply as soon as you can and be clear about your answer. There are other suggestions, but these are the main ones. Everything else is just extra.
These three methods work whether you want to accept the invitation, decline it, let the host know you’re still unsure or bail out at the last minute.
You can copy the text, substitute details like the date to match your situation, and then send it to the host or the person inviting you.
Example 1: Accept the invitation and include any relevant information the host needs to know
Hi Emmanuel,
Thank you for inviting me to dinner on Friday, June 13, 2024. I’m happy to confirm that I’ll be there, and my friend Godfrey will join me. We’re both looking forward to it. Just so you know, I have a gluten allergy.
Best regards,
Caleb.
Example 2: Politely decline the invitation and give a brief reason
Hi Emmanuel,
Thank you for the dinner invitation. Unfortunately, I already have plans that evening and won’t be able to make it. But how about we meet for lunch next weekend?
Best regards,
Caleb.
Example 3: If you’re unsure, use polite words to say “maybe”
Hello Emmanuel,
Thanks for thinking of me and inviting me to dinner on the 13th. I’m not sure if I can make it, but I’ll check my calendar and let you know. Please go ahead with your plans without waiting for my confirmation. I’ll let you know as soon as I can confirm. Hope you have a great time!
Best regards,
Caleb.
Example 4: Apologize for changes if there are Last-minute Changes
Hi Emmanuel,
I’m really sorry, but I have an unexpected work emergency and won’t be able to make it to dinner tonight. Could we possibly reschedule for next week? I appreciate your understanding.
Best,
Caleb
Receiving a dinner invitation might include an RSVP request. This stands for “répondez s’il vous plaît,” which is French for “please respond.”
If you see this on an invitation, you need to let the host know whether you’ll be attending.
However, if you’re asked to confirm your attendance by messaging the person inviting you, there’s a specific way.
Standard Structure For Dinner Invitation Response
While you can use any of the four examples from the previous section, you might want to create a personalized message instead.
You can do this by following a specific structure that will help you craft a message that’s just as clear as the examples but reflects your own style and content.
STEP 1: Say Thank You
When responding to a dinner invitation, the first thing you should do is express your gratitude. Thank the person for considering you as a guest.
This shows appreciation for the gesture. Whether you plan to attend or decline, it’s always a good idea to start your message by saying thank you.
A simple phrase like “Thanks for the invitation” or “Thank you for thinking of me” works well.
Even if the invitation is for a personal dinner between just the two of you, it’s still important to thank the person.
Depending on your relationship with the person and the formality of the occasion, you might also want to include a greeting like “Hi, Emmanuel” before expressing your thanks for the invite.
STEP 2: Be clear about accepting or declining
If you’re going to accept or decline the invitation, your response should be precise and clear. This should follow right after you thank them for the invite.
For instance, you could say, “I will be there.” If you’re bringing someone along, this is the right time to mention it.
When confirming your attendance, it’s also helpful to restate the date, such as, “I will be there for the dinner on the 3rd.” This ensures everyone is on the same page, and if there is an error in the invitation, the host can catch it and correct it.
If you’re declining, be clear, but use a polite and apologetic tone. You can start by saying, “Unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it,” or “I’m sorry, but I can’t attend.”
STEP 3: Add/ask for relevant information if accepting or give a precise reason if declining
What you include next in your response depends on whether you accept or decline the invitation.
If you’ve accepted, the next step is to ask or mention any additional details, like dietary preferences, or offer help.
For example, you could indicate that you have a gluten allergy or ask if there’s anything they’d like you to bring. If there’s nothing more to add, you can skip this part.
If you’re declining, it’s polite to mention why briefly. Keep it simple and to the point.
For instance, you could say it’s your sister’s birthday that day, or the kids have a school event you need to attend. Just keep it brief.
STEP 4: Close on a positive note
Whether you’ve accepted, declined, or are unsure about attending, it’s important to end your response to a dinner invitation on a positive note.
What does this mean? It depends on your reply.
If you accept, you can end with something like, “See you there!” or “Looking forward to it.”
If you declined, you could suggest meeting up another time or simply wish them a great time at the dinner you won’t attend.
It’s also a good idea to close your message with your name, like “Regards, Caleb,” especially if you’re sending it to an event planner or someone who may not have your contact information.
This makes it easier for them to identify you among other responses.
Editor’s Note: Tips on Responding to a Dinner Invitation
At Phraseably, we believe that the best way to respond to an invitation, whether for dinner with someone or a group, is to focus on etiquette and respect for both parties.
This is why your response should feel natural and comfortable for everyone involved.
When responding, keep these things in mind:
- It’s not rude to ask how many people will be there. This can help you understand how much personal space others value.
- If you’re not interested in attending, saying “no” without offering a detailed explanation is perfectly fine. Let them assume your schedule is busy, and you don’t have to justify your decision if they ask for more details.
- If you’re unsure how to accept a dinner invitation, asking how much time they expect from you is helpful.
How Soon Should You Respond to a Dinner Invitation?
The key to declining or accepting a dinner invitation is to respond quickly and politely.
If you know you’re unavailable or simply don’t want to go, it’s best to say so right away.
Delaying your response can give the impression that you’re waiting for a better offer or that you’re not interested in responding at all.
You’re doing the host a favor by replying quickly, even when you decline. They quickly want to know if you’ll be present so they can adjust their preparation.
If the person inviting you is someone you know well or genuinely regret not being able to attend, it’s okay to offer more of an explanation and suggest another time to get together.
What Channel Should You Use to Respond to a Dinner Invitation?
Thanks to the internet today, we have many convenient ways to reply to invitations. Even a simple WhatsApp message can work.
However, a good rule of thumb is to respond using the same method with which the invitation was extended.
For example, if a friend texted you via SMS about meeting for drinks on Friday, it’s best to reply by text.
They chose that method of communication, so it’s considerate to use the same one to respond.
In Summary
If you’ve been invited to dinner, you don’t need to worry too much about whether your response sounds polite enough.
What’s truly rude is being unclear with your answer, causing the host to prepare by cleaning and shopping, only for you to either not show up or cancel at the last minute. That’s inconsiderate.
Now that you know how to respond to a dinner invitation, you might want to practice crafting your responses.
In the section below, we provide two different dinner invitation scenarios. You can test yourself by creating a response to these invitations based on what you’ve learned from this guide.
QUIZ: Before You Bounce….
SCENARIO 1:
Hey there, I hope you’re doing well. I was thinking it would be great to catch up and hang out. How about coming over for dinner this Friday, August 23rd? We can relax, enjoy good food, and spend quality time together. Let me know if you’re up for it!
Cheers,
James
SCENARIO 2:
I hope you’re doing well! I wanted to invite you over for dinner this Saturday, August 24th. It would be great to spend some time together, and my parents and cousin will be around, so it’s a perfect opportunity for you to meet them. Let me know if you’re free and want to join us!
Looking forward to it,
Cynthia
You can choose any of these scenarios and write your response to these dinner invitations in the comment section below! We’re excited to read your responses.
