50 Funny Ways to Say You’re a Virgin

When it comes to talking about personal experience, humor can go a long way in lightening the mood or making it less awkward to say.

If someone inquired from you about your virginity status, you don’t necessarily have to shy away from it. Saying you’re a virgin doesn’t have to be awkward or overly serious. In fact,you can have some fun while responding to it. 

If you need funny responses to use then I have got you. In this article, I have provided below 50 funny, sarcastic, and witty ways to say you’re a virgin, each one written to add a touch of humor to the conversation.

Other 50 Funny Ways to Say You’re a Virgin

1. I’m still waiting for my adult membership card
2. I’ve just been too busy watching Netflix to get around to it.
3. I guess you could say I’m a collector of ‘firsts.
4. The V-card? Still safely tucked in my wallet.
5. I’ve heard about the experience, but I’m saving it for the Director’s Cut.
6. Hi, you just met Patience not Procrastination— waiting for the right time
7. Still in mint condition, like a rare collectible.
8. I’m saving myself… for pizza. Priorities, you know?
9. Some people collect stamps; I collect firsts.
10. You know what they say: good things come to those who wait.
11. No rush, I’m just taking the scenic route.
12. I’m like a library book–reserved, but not checked out yet.
13. Still wrapped up, like a holiday present no one’s opened.
14. I’m in no rush; I prefer to savor the suspense.
15. Think of me as the limited-edition collector’s item.
16. I’m still in the original packaging.
17. Still waiting for the user manual to arrive.
18. My V-card is like a fine wine just waiting for the perfect time to uncork.
19. Still untouched, just like the workout equipment I bought last year.
20. Let’s just say, my V-card hasn’t seen the light of day yet.
21. I’m saving my first time like I’m saving dessert for last.
22. Still on version 1.0 no updates yet.
23. Untouched like the snacks I promised to share.
24. Let’s just say my V-card and I are in a long-term relationship.
25. Still waiting for the right co-star for my debut.
26. I’m just a lifelong subscriber to the ‘Take Your Time’ newsletter.
27. Call me old school, I’m waiting for love, or a really good pizza.
28. I’m like a bottle of champagne, still corked and ready for the perfect occasion.
29. You could say I’m a bit of a rare find.
30. Still in ‘factory settings’ mode no updates installed.
31. Let’s just say I’m not rushing to download any new software.
32. I’m a collector of rare experiences and haven’t started this collection yet.
33. You mean have I tasted the forbidden fruit?
34. I’m like an uncracked book, just waiting for the right reader.
35. Still waiting for my guest star appearance in the romance department.
36. Let’s just say my ‘first time’ is still on the ‘to-do’ list.
37. Virgin? What does that mean?
38. I’m because I’m waiting for Prince charming to take me to the promise land
39. Consider me a surprise box; what’s inside hasn’t been revealed yet
40. Think of me as a cakestill baking, not ready to come out of the oven.
41. I’m still a secret recipe, nobody’s cracked the code yet.
42. Still in beta mode no official release yet
43. I’ve been preserving myself… like a good bottle of ketchup.
44. My V-card is like a rare artifact displayed but not touched 
45. I’m like a limited-time offer, just waiting for the right buyer.
46. Still waiting for the green light to start the show.
47. Think of me as an unopened bottle of champagne, waiting for the perfect occasion to pop.
48. Let’s just say my ‘first time’ is still under development.
49. I’m like a superhero who hasn’t discovered their powers yet.
50. Still in the draft phase; waiting for final approval before publication.

1.  I’m still waiting for my adult membership card

Telling them you are waiting for an adult membership card when they ask you is like saying you are not ready now, but eventually, it’ll happen.

2. I’ve just been too busy watching Netflix to get around to it.

In today’s world, where entertainment is at our fingertips, sometimes the best excuse is just admitting you’ve had other priorities like catching up on your favorite shows.

3. I guess you could say I’m a collector of ‘firsts.

Being a “collector of firsts” makes it sound like you’re approaching life with a careful, reserved mindset, only wanting the best experiences.

4. The V-card? Still safely tucked in my wallet

Making light of the term “V-card” and treating it as a physical object you’ve kept tucked away keeps the conversation casual.

5. I’ve heard about the experience, but I’m saving it for the Director’s Cut

Referring to your first time as something special that should be saved for a bigger, better version adds a humorous effect.

6. Hi, you just met Patience not Procrastination— waiting for the right time

Turning procrastination into a virtue is a clever way to explain why you’re still waiting.

7. Still in mint condition, like a rare collectible.

Comparing yourself to a rare, untouched item adds a sense of value to your choice to wait.

8. I’m saving myself… for pizza. Priorities, you know?

Adding a humorous distraction (and an undeniable favorite) makes your statement both funny and relatable.

9. Some people collect stamps; I collect firsts.

This is a witty way to say you are a virgin and different from other people should comparison sets in.

10. You know what they say: good things come to those who wait.

This one works because it’s true, but also because it’s a subtle reminder that waiting can pay off.

11. No rush, I’m just taking the scenic route

Treating your virginity as a leisurely journey with its own pace adds a humorous, relaxed perspective to the topic.

12. I’m like a library book—reserved, but not checked out yet

Comparing yourself to a library book humorously suggests you’re available but haven’t been ‘borrowed’ yet.

13. Still wrapped up, like a holiday present no one’s opened.

This playful description implies you’re waiting for the right occasion to reveal yourself.

14. I’m in no rush; I prefer to savor the suspense.

 Emphasizing the enjoyment of anticipation adds a distinct sophistication to your wait.

15. Think of me as the limited-edition collector’s item.

Positioning yourself as a rare and valuable item makes waiting seem special and intentional.

16. I’m still in the original packaging.

This comparison humorously suggests that you’re preserving your value and rarity.

17. Still waiting for the user manual to arrive

The idea of waiting for a “user manual” adds a humorous touch to the conversation.

18. My V-card is like a fine wine just waiting for the perfect time to uncork.

Comparing your virginity to a fine wine suggests it’s something to be enjoyed and appreciated at the right moment.

19. Still untouched, just like the workout equipment I bought last year.

Making a humorous comparison with unused workout equipment adds a relatable and funny spice to your response.

20. Let’s just say, my V-card hasn’t seen the light of day yet.

This phrase humorously implies that your virginity remains unexposed and untouched.

21. I’m saving myself like I’m saving dessert for last.

Comparing your virginity to saving dessert makes it sound like a special treat you’re waiting to enjoy.

22. Still on version 1.0; no updates yet.

Treating your virginity like software in need of updates adds a tech-savvy, humorous angle.

23. Untouched like the snacks I promised to share.

This phrase playfully suggests that your virginity is as untouched as snacks you’ve promised but haven’t shared.

24. Let’s just say my V-card and I are in a long-term relationship.

This phrase humorously suggests that your virginity is something you’re committed to for the long haul.

25. Still waiting for the right co-star for my debut.

Referring your virginity to a debut performance, you imply that you’re waiting for a significant and fitting partner.

26. I’m just a lifelong subscriber to the ‘Take Your Time’ newsletter.

Positioning yourself as a subscriber to a “newsletter” about taking your time humorously suggests patience.

27. Call me old school, I’m waiting for love, or a really good pizza.

Adding pizza into the response makes it clear that you have other priorities that are equally significant.

28. I’m like a bottle of champagne, still corked and ready for the perfect occasion.

Treating yourself like a bottle of champagne makes the idea of waiting sound festive and special.

29. You could say I’m a bit of a rare find.

Describing yourself as a “rare find” positions you as something special and unique.

30. Still in ‘factory settings’ mode; no updates installed

The comparison to factory settings humorously suggests you’re untouched and unmodified.

31. Let’s just say I’m not rushing to download any new software.

Comparing yourself to software that hasn’t been updated yet adds a tech twist to the conversation.

32. I’m a collector of rare experiences; haven’t started this collection yet.

Viewing your virginity as a rare experience you’re saving for a special occasion makes it sound valuable and intentional.

33. You mean have I tasted the forbidden fruit?

Answering with another question depicts a creative way of evading their question if it sounds awkward to you.

34. I’m like an uncracked book, just waiting for the right reader.

Treating your virginity as an uncracked book waiting for someone special adds a literary flair.

35. Still waiting for my guest star appearance in the romance department.

Comparing your virginity to a guest star appearance suggests that it’s something special waiting for its big moment.

36. Let’s just say my ‘first time’ is still on the ‘to-do’ list.

This portrays that you anticipate it and it is like you are being excited about the experience and also answers that you are still a virgin.

37. Virgin? What does that mean?

Feigning ignorance about what virginity means is another funny way to evade the question about you’re virginity status.

38. I’m because I’m waiting for Prince charming to take me to the promise land

Saying you are waiting for your prince charming is a creative way of telling them you are waiting for the right time and right one for such grand experience.

39. Consider me a surprise box; what’s inside hasn’t been revealed yet.

This phrase adds an element of curiosity and excitement, suggesting it is an affirmative aMynd it is something you consider special.

40. Think of me as a cake still baking, not ready to come out of the oven.

This analogy is both light-hearted and funny, implying that you’re not quite ready, but when you are, it’ll be worth the wait.

41. I’m still a secret recipe, nobody’s cracked the code yet.

Comparing your virginity to a secret recipe makes it sound like something everyone’s waiting for but hasn’t happened yet.

42. Still in Beta mode no official release yet

This phrase humorously suggests that you’re not ready yet and are waiting for the right time for your ‘release

43. Untouched like the emergency chocolate I keep hidden in the cupboard.

Comparing your virginity to a secret stash of chocolate adds fun to your response, and it’s a creative way of confusing them about your virginity status.

44. My V-card is like a rare artifact displayed but not touched

This response portrays to them that your virginity is a valuable artifact, worth admiring but not yet handled.

45. I’m like a limited-time offer, just waiting for the right buyer.

Comparing your virginity to a limited-time offer adds humor and a sense of exclusivity.

46. Still waiting for the green light to start the show

This phrase humorously suggests you’re a virgin and equally  in standby mode, awaiting the right person to ‘activate’ things.

47. Think of me as an unopened bottle of champagne, waiting for the perfect occasion to pop.

Comparing your virginity to an unopened bottle of champagne adds a celebratory twist, suggesting you’re waiting for the right moment.

48. Let’s just say my ‘first time’ is still under development.

Saying your first time is under development is a humorous way to respond that you are still a virgin, without saying you are a virgin.

49. I’m like a superhero who hasn’t discovered their powers yet.

This is a coded way of saying you haven’t been there before, creatively.

50. Still in the draft phase; waiting for final approval before publication.

This writing analogy humorously implies that your virginity is a work in progress, waiting for the final touch.