50 Funny Ways to Say Your Breath Stinks

Comedy or humor requires one to say the truth in the most ridiculous way possible. One of those many truths is telling yourself that your breath smells horrible.

Whether it is when you wake up in the morning or after eating onions, these phrases can help you express your deep concerns about your breath.

Whether it is when you wake up in the morning or after eating onions, these phrases can help you express your deep concerns about your breath.

I have arranged 50 expressions that help you communicate that your breath stinks in a hilarious way.

With the illustrations, you’ll get more insight on how to add this expression in a sentence or into a context.

50 Hilarious Ways To Say Your Breath Stinks

Here are diverse funny ways to say that your breath smells horrible.

1. Have I ever heard of toothpaste?
2. I could knock out a skunk with this breath.
3. My breath smells like it came straight from the garbage.
4. My breath could scare away people.
5. My breath could suck life out of a lifeless  body.
6. My toothbrush gave up on me?
7. My breath motivates me to use mint.
8. I should try some mint.
9. I need to see the dentist for this breath of mine.
10. I’m breathing out pure onions today.
11. I can clear a room with just one yawn.
12. My breath smells like I ate a bucket of garlic.
13. My breath smells more like a rat died in my mouth.
14. I just exhaled, and my nose just fainted.
15. My breath could double as bug spray.
16. I should get a mouthwash as soon as possible.
17. I think my breath just made my toothbrush quit.
18. My breath is just like weed, it’s unwanted.
19. I just killed a mint with my breath.
20. Bad breath was created from my mouth.
21. My breath smells more like a fart.
22. I need to change what’s rotten in my mouth.
23. I really wish you I could take my breath away…literally.
24. I could use my breath as pepper spray.
25. I should prioritize my oral health.
26. I need an emergency oral surgery.
27. My breath needs a mint… or 50.
28. Even my toothpaste is scared of me right now.
29. I should try another brand of toothpaste.
30. If humans didn’t need oxygen, I would have said I shouldn’t breathe out.
31. I want to vomit because I’m talking.
32. My breath is what nightmares are made of.
33. My tongue might be infected.
34. I wish my tongue could be thoroughly washed.
35. My breath could make anyone cry.
36. I brushed your teeth lastly three decades ago, right?
37. I could freshen my breath with a whole pack of gum… maybe.
38. I should not bother kissing anyone with this breath of mine.
39. I need to breathe more where no one else is.
40. I shouldn’t bother breathing except when taking mint.
41. The breath that comes out of my mouth is from hell.
42. I should try to allow my breath to smell great sometimes.
43. My toothbrush is miserable.
44. I hate my breath too.
45. My breath takes you away from the room.
46. My breath reminds me of bad air.
47. All I need to do is to yawn to offend everyone.
48. I just spoke, and I think I created a new kind of pollution.
49. I should breathe with my nose and not my mouth.
50.  With my kind of breath, I need to use mouthwash every minute.

Have I ever heard of toothpaste?

Asking a funny question like if you have heard of toothpaste, is a funny way to indicate that your breath doesn’t smell so great.

For Example:

• Why does my breath stink so bad? Have I ever heard of toothpaste?

I could knock out a skunk with this breath.

A skunk is an animal known for its toxic and smelly liquid it pollutes from its anus.

To imply that a skunk would die because of your breath is a funny way of exaggerating how bad your breath is.

For Example:

• I could knock out a skunk with this breath of mine, Jesus Christ!

My breath smells like it came straight from the garbage.

The garbage is a place where dirt is stored which means it can’t be a place that smells so great.

Saying that your breath comes from there is an hilarious way to say your breath stinks.

For Example: 

• My breath smells like it came straight from the garbage and I’m not about garbage with cans only in it.

My breath could scare away people.

For people to be scared of your breath then it must mean that it smells terrible and should not be exhaled by other people.

You can joke about your breath smell with a funny phrase like this.

For Example:

• I wouldn’t even lie to myself, I know my breath could scare away people.

My breath could suck life out of a lifeless body.

“Lifeless body” shouldn’t have life right? But because you’re trying to make a joke about how bad your breath is you could exaggerate that your breath can wipe out the little life left in a dead body.

For Example:

• My breath could suck life out of a lifeless body and that’s not even possible.

My toothbrush gave up on me?

Toothbrush is one of the tools you need to wash your teeth and tongue to make it clean and smell nice.

To imply that it gave up on you means that it is no longer doing what it meant to do, which is to keep your teeth clean.

For Example:

• My breath smells so bad that even my toothbrush gave up on me.

My breath motivates me to use mint.

Having your breath be a motivator for you to have a mint on you is hilarious to joke about how bad your breath is.

A mint is sweet or gum that helps reduce mouth odor temporarily.

For Example:

• My breath motivates me to use mint every single day, I just can’t run out of mint.

I should try some mint.

Perhaps you’re getting ready for a date and you already planned to end it with a kiss. You can be honest about your bad breath and tell yourself that you should try some mint since your breath smells.

For Example:

• I should try some mint, I have to be able to make a good impression when I kiss her.

I need to see the dentist for this breath of mine.

Give yourself some funny advice when you discover that your breath smells bad when you wake up or you don’t brush your teeth for a while.

One advice you could give is that you need to see a dentist (a doctor that specializes in teeth).

For Example:

• I need to see the dentist for this breath of mine because it’s not looking like a regular problem anymore.

I’m breathing out pure onions today.

After eating a meal with onion or garlic, you could make fun of your breath by articulating that you are breathing onions out today or for the time period you’re in.

For Example:

• Is it just me or I’m I breathing out pure onions today?

I can clear a room with just one yawn.

Yawning can be quite tricky when you have a bad breath and that’s one way you can joke about how smelly your mouth is.

In this case, the joke is that your yawn can make a room filled with people, empty in an instance.

For Example:

• I can clear a room with just one yawn, it’s like an unwanted superpower.

My breath smells like I ate a bucket of garlic.

Garlic has a lot of health benefits but eating it too much could ruin your breath.

The exaggeration that gave birth to this funny expression is that your breath smells so bad that it feels like you ate a bucket of garlic.

For Example:

• My breath smells like I ate a bucket of garlic today, I can’t stand it, I don’t think anyone can.

My breath smells more like a rat died in my mouth.

A dead rat doesn’t have a good smell and for it to be likened to the smell of your breath, it means that your breath smells really terrible.

For Example:

• My breath smells more like a rat died in my mouth, I’m not having it at all, I gotta go brush.

I just exhaled, and my nose just fainted.

The nose is where air comes in and out of your body and for it to faint when you exhale air out of your mouth, it means that there’s a stench coming out of your mouth.

Let’s see how it can be put to use.

For Example:

• I just exhaled, and my nose just fainted. I think I’m in a coma now.

My breath could double as bug spray.

Beat your friends to it by commenting about how bad your breath is by saying that your breath could double as a bug spray.

For Example:

• My breath could double as bug spray to kill all the freaking bugs in this house.

I should get a mouthwash as soon as possible.

A mouthwash is another tool that is used to keep the oral hygiene intact.

Implying that a mouthwash should be purchased by you in urgency, is a funny way of saying that you don’t have a nice breath smell.

For Example:

• I should get a mouthwash as soon as possible, or else, I’m not going to have a boyfriend anymore.

I think my breath just made my toothbrush quit.

“I think my breath just made my toothbrush quit” is another funny way to say that your breath stinks in order to make fun of the situation or to make your friends laugh.

The example below shows how it can be used perhaps you discovered your breath smells bad in the morning

For Example:

• When I woke up this morning I realized my breath just made my toothbrush quit.

My breath is just like weed, it’s unwanted.

“Weed” is an unwanted plant that grows on land. It is used as a form of comparison to your bad breath which is also unwanted and should be taken out.

For Example:

• My breath is just like weed, it’s unwanted and should be uprooted out of society.

I just killed a mint with my breath.

A mint is supposed to suppress the bad odor of a person’s mouth, but this expression makes up humor by making it seem as though your breath was so bad that the mint didn’t have the chance.

For Example:

• Funny story, there was a time my breath smelt so bad, I killed a mint with it.

Bad breath was created from my mouth.

The creation of bad breath from your mouth is another funny way of saying that you have bad breath or your breath stinks.

If you want your friend or partner to know about this and to laugh about it, say it this way.

For Example:

• Bad breath was created from my mouth and I know it for certain.

My breath smells more like a fart.

Comparing your breath to fart is a funny and exaggerated way of saying that you have a bad breath.

A simple expression like this can help you make yourself laugh and the people around you.

For Example:

• My breath smells more like fart and garlic blended together in a garbage can.

I need to change what’s rotten in my mouth.

For something to sound rotten in your mouth, there has to be a stinking situation happening in it.

If your aim is to make your partner or friend laugh about it, this is one good pick.

For Example:

• I need to change what’s rotten in my mouth, it could be a dead possum.

I really wish you I could take my breath away…literally.

If you want something gone, then it means that it is not something pleasant or attractive to keep. This goes for your bad breath by implying that you want to take your breath away.

For Example: 

• I really wish you I could take my breath away…literally. I can’t stand it anymore.

I could use my breath as pepper spray.

If you appreciate humor and you want to say funny things yourself especially about your breath smelling bad, this is a good phrase to use.

Pepper spray is used to keep people away which says the same for your breath.

For Example:

• I could use my breath as pepper spray, that way, it’s more helpful.

I should prioritize my oral health.

This comment gives the impression that you do not have a good breath because you’re implying that you haven’t been paying much attention to your oral health.

For Example:

• I should prioritize my oral health, if I’m ever going to meet a nice boy and get him to kiss me.

I need an emergency oral surgery.

This is a dramatic and hilarious way to say that your breath smells bad.

Making this an exclamatory expression would also help you sound funny when uttering it.

For Example:

• I need an emergency oral surgery, somebody needs an ambulance for bad breath.

My breath needs a mint… or 50.

The exaggeration of your breath needing 50 minutes is a funny phrase that means that your breath stinks.

If you’re getting to speak to an important person and you would like to be playful about your breath smelling bad, you can use this phrase to do so.

For Example:

• My breath needs a mint… or 50, I might extra very soon.

Even my toothpaste is scared of me right now.

Also ‘even my toothpaste is scared of me right now’ is a funny phrase that means that a toothbrush, that’s meant to keep your breath fresh, is also scared of how horrible your breath is.

For Example:

• My breath smells so bad that even my toothpaste is scared of me right now.

I should try another brand of toothpaste.

You might not be satisfied with the brand of toothpaste that you bought and while expressing that you can make a funny statement about how bad your breath smells.

For Example:

• I should try another brand of toothpaste, this one isn’t working like the last one.

If humans didn’t need oxygen, I would have said I shouldn’t breathe out.

 

Make the people around you laugh at this statement of how your breath smells by choosing to utter it this way.

If your breath smells bad, you’ll find less interest in doing basic human things like breathing in and out.

For Example:

• If humans didn’t need oxygen, I would have said I shouldn’t breathe out anymore. I might be a danger.

I want to vomit because I’m talking.

In addition, ‘I want to vomit because I’m talking’ is a good way to make a joke about how bad your breath smells.

How can it be used in a sentence?

For Example:

• I want to vomit because I’m talking, how many feel the same way too.

My breath is what nightmares are made of.

Nightmares are terrifying and scary and to imply that they are made of your breath is an hilarious way to say that you have a stinky breath.

For Example:

• My breath is what nightmares are made of and I just hope to wake up one day.

My tongue might be infected.

To claim that your tongue might be infected can be an over the top method of communicating that you have a bad breath and should probably seek a dentist’s help.

For Example:

• My tongue might be infected, because I can’t find any other reason why my mouth smells so bad.

I wish my tongue could be thoroughly washed.

The tongue is a huge determinant of your breath being good or not which is highlighted in this funny phrase.

Wishing that it is thoroughly washed, indirectly sends the message that you are not pleased with the smell of your breath.

For Example:

• I wish my tongue could be thoroughly washed or if possible, I could get a brand new one.

My breath could make anyone cry.

Why on earth would a person cry because of your breath? Probably because it smells bad.

Laughing about the problem of your breath can be made possible through this expression.

For Example:

• My breath could make anyone cry because it’s just too much to handle.

I brushed your teeth lastly three decades ago, right?

Three decades ago is such a long time for a person’s teeth not to be brushed.

It’s an exaggerated and funny way of saying that your mouth smells bad and should be brushed as fast as possible.

For Example:

• I brushed your teeth lastly three decades ago, right? I’m trying to figure out why it smells this bad.

I could freshen my breath with a whole pack of gum… maybe.

“I could freshen my breath with a whole pack of gum… maybe” is another phrase that means that you need a lot of gum to make your bad breath smell any better.

For Example:

• I could freshen my breath with a whole pack of gum… maybe. I don’t want you to think I’m not serious.

I should not bother kissing anyone with this breath of mine.

Kissing is a romantic act done by the mouth and this expression highlights the impossibility of that with a bad breath like yours.

For Example:

• I should not bother kissing anyone with this breath of mine, I wouldn’t want to ruin their nose.

I need to breathe more where no one else is.

“I need to breathe more where no one else is” is a funny phrase that means that there’s less confidence built in a person who has a bad breath.

Interaction will become minimal and that’s what this expression uses as a joke.

For Example:

• I need to breathe more where no one else is so that I don’t draw any bad attention to myself.

I shouldn’t bother breathing except when taking mint.

Not breathing except when there’s mint in your mouth is a funny phrase that means that your breath isn’t so great.

The example below shows how it can be used.

For Example:

• I shouldn’t bother breathing except when taking mint so that I don’t suffocate other people.

The breath that comes out of my mouth is from hell.

“The breath that comes out of my mouth is from hell” is a phrase that highlights the origin of a bad smell coming from a bad place ‘hell.’

Text your friend before brushing your teeth about how bad you think your breath smells to make them laugh.

For Example:

• The breath that comes out of my mouth is from hell and I can’t take it.

I should try to allow my breath to smell great sometimes.

“I should try to allow my breath to smell great sometimes” passes a message that you have a responsibility in making your breath smell nice which hasn’t been done.

For Example:

• I should try to allow my breath to smell great sometimes, but I am not doing it at all.

My toothbrush is miserable.

Your toothbrush is what goes into your mouth to brush your teeth thoroughly.

Implying that it is miserable is a funny way to acknowledge the situation that your mouth isn’t the most exciting place to be.

For Example:

• At this point, my toothbrush is miserable and I can’t blame it.

I hate my breath too.

Whether your friend is giving an awful stare or you’re feeling insecure about the breath of your mouth but also want to be funny with your expression, you can decide to say that you hate your breath too.

For Example:

• I know what you’re thinking and yes, I agree, I hate my breath too.

My breath takes you away from the room.

It’s hilarious to say that your breath is what makes people leave the room.

If that’s possible, then you just succeeded in making people you’re telling the expression to laugh at your excessive use of metaphor.

For Example:

• I was kidding when I told you that my breath takes you away from the room.

My breath reminds me of bad air.

Bad air reminding you of your breath is a funny and straightforward way to make yourself and others believe that your breath isn’t exactly what someone would call amazing.

For Example:

• My breath reminds me of bad air and I wish that you could understand what I mean.

All I need to do is to yawn to offend everyone.

It takes a lot of bad things or actions to offend someone or some persons but in this case, comedy is born by implying that all it takes for that to happen is for you to yawn.

For Example:

• All I need to do is to yawn to offend everyone in the room. I must be such a hassle.

I just spoke, and I think I created a new kind of pollution.

This is a funny way to say that your breath stinks because it jokes about your speech creating a “new kind of pollution.”

Below is how it can be used in a sentence.

For Example:

• I just spoke, and I think I created a new kind of pollution with my beautiful breath.

I should breathe with my nose and not my mouth.

“I should breathe with my nose and not my mouth” is another way to joke about your bad breath while perceiving it in the bathroom or wherever.

Sticking to using all the nose to breathe is a ridiculous way to address your bad breath problem.

For Example:

• I should breathe with my nose and not my mouth, maybe that would help the situation.

With my kind of breath, I need to use mouthwash every minute.

Another way you can exaggerate the smell of your breath being bad, is by saying that you need mouthwash every minute.

You don’t have to struggle with knowing how to make it fit a context.

For Example:

• With my kind of breath, I need to use mouthwash every minute so that I can get the chance to speak with him.