We’ve all been there. There are days when you don’t feel like going to work, you want to stay in bed all day and sleep. Unfortunately, you’re likely not to get away with being absent, so you’ve got to get your lazy ass up and go to work.
Well, if you can’t escape not going to work, you can get away with having some fun while at it.
In this article, I’ve curated funny ways to say you don’t want to go to work. Whether you’ll be following up with your desire or you’ll be finding your way to work, these expressions offer a simple way to have a good laugh.
35 Funny Ways to Say You Don’t Want to Go to Work
Below are 35 funny ways to say you don’t want to go to work:
- I don’t want to see my boss’s face
- My boss’s face is always ugly on a Thursday
- I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, let me go back to sleep
- It’s still midnight over here
- Oh, man! My cat just buried my car, now I can’t go to work
- I had night duty during my sleep, now I need to sleep
- I think I just developed an allergy to Fridays
- I can’t step out in the sun
- My dog has hidden my car keys again
- I heard zombies will be roaming the streets today, better to miss work than risk seeing them
- My kid is sick, he swallowed the TV remote
- My grandmother is going through a heartbreak, I need to be with her
- My car radio is broken, you know I can’t drive without music
- I heard the buses were attacked by bears yesterday
- I heard on the television that I’ve been given a public holiday
- I saw in the dream that I shouldn’t be at work today
- The weather is too cold for me, I might just die if I step out in this cold
- I’ve run out of makeup
- The astrologer just announced that there’s a high chance of accidents happening on every major road
- My boss doesn’t like seeing my face on Wednesday
- My guts tell me I’ll win a lottery if I stay at home
- I just suddenly developed a serious stomach pain in my leg
- I have a feeling there’s going to be fog everywhere, so I won’t see my way through
- I’m having cramps in the brain
- My cat is having cramps, I have to take care of it
- My ex-wife just stole my car, I have to take care of this emergency
- My dog is having serious hiccups, I have to take it to the hospital
- I’m separating a fight between my dog and a cat, it might take the whole day
- I’ll be auditioning for the X-Men Apocalypse
- I’m having the biggest premonition that the sky will fall off if I step out today
- I’m too shy to turn up to work today
- My cat just swallowed my car key, I’m with it at the A&E
- My cat is depressed and asked me to stay at home today, I think it’s going through a heartbreak
- A chicken broke into my home and attacked my father. I’m taking care of things
- It’s snowing heavily inside my house, we’re trying to figure out the problem
I Don’t Want to See My Boss’s Face
“I don’t want to see my boss’s face” is top of our list of funny ways to say you don’t want to go to work.
If you’re an employee who works onsite, you can agree with me that bosses can be annoying and that many workers rejoice when their boss doesn’t show up at the office.
However, if your boss doesn’t fall in the annoying category, you’re lucky.
But, if you prefer your boss to be engaged somewhere other than showing up at the office, once you say you don’t want to see their face on a workday, the message is very clear that you don’t want to go to work, and it’s pretty understandable.
My Boss’s Face Is Always Ugly on a Thursday
This one is another hilarious way of letting someone know you don’t want to show up to work on a Thursday.
Everyone likes a pretty face, and this statement might be a figurative way of you saying that your boss is always angry on a Thursday, making you reluctant to show up at work so as not to deal with his mood.
However, you could just make this statement to express your reluctance to go to work. But, don’t let your boss hear you.
I Think I Woke Up on the Wrong Side of the Bed, Let Me Go Back to Sleep
If you woke up from the wrong side of the bed, you need to go back to bed, so as not to get into trouble at work.
The phrase “wake up on the wrong side of the bed” means to be in a foul or grumpy mood from the moment of waking from sleep.
So, it’s safe to say you can’t take your foul mood to work. Once you make this statement, it’s very clear that you don’t want to go to work. It’s a funny way to make your intention known.
It’s Still Midnight Over Here
“It’s still midnight over here” is another funny way of saying you don’t want to go to work.
Imagine waking in the morning, maybe 6:30 am, and telling your partner or friend that it’s still midnight in your part of the world, they wouldn’t need a soothsayer to know you don’t want to go to work.
Oh, Man! My Cat Just Buried My Car, Now I Can’t Go to Work
Anyone who hears this one will know you don’t want to go to work. Saying that your cat buried your car will surely cause a good laugh.
Of course, when there’s no car, it’ll be difficult going to work. So, if you want to express your desire to be in the house all day and at the same time leave people in stitches, accuse your cat of doing the impossible.
I Had Night Duty During My Sleep, Now I Need to Sleep
This one is another humorous way to let someone know you don’t want to go to work.
Saying you had night duty during your sleep means you were awake in your sleep. How hilarious that is!
I Think I Just Developed an Allergy for Fridays
“I think I just developed an allergy to Fridays” is another humorous way to show your disinterest in going to work.
This one explains that you suddenly developed an aversion to Fridays, indicating that you don’t want to be at work. It’ll certainly cause some good laughs.
I Can’t Step Out in the Sun
“I can’t step out in the sun” is another funny way to say you don’t want to go to work.
Saying you can’t step out in the sun suggests that you’re afraid the sun might harm you.
This one excellently captures your reluctance to leave the house.
My Dog Has Hidden My Car Keys Again
“My dog has hidden my car keys again” is another hilarious statement to make that shows you don’t want to go to work.
This statement is another ridiculous statement that accuses your pet of doing the impossible. Mind you, it might not even be impossible. If your dog hates you, they might hide your car keys.
So, you might just get away with this excuse and stay back home searching for the lost key instead of going to sit in front of your computers at work.
But, ensure you have a backup job waiting for you, just in case
I Heard Zombies Will Be Roaming the Streets Today, Better to Miss Work Than Risk Seeing Them
Anyone who hears this one will certainly know you’re trying to be a funny lazy ass.
But, looking at this statement closely, you’ll understand that staying at home is much better than going to work. No one would risk getting eaten by a zombie.
So, your boss might just understand your concern and ask you to stay at home when you give them this funny excuse.
My Kid Is Sick, He Swallowed the TV Remote
Anyone who hears this one will certainly beg you to stay back home to take off your kid.
Imagine a kid having a TV remote in their stomach or lodged in their throat! You should be at the hospital running around with the doctors.
Don’t forget to cause some good laughs with this hilarious statement on a morning when you don’t feel like showing up at work.
My Grandmother Is Going Through a Heartbreak, I Need to Be with Her
Who says grannies don’t love in old age?
If your grandmother is going through a heartbreak, by all means, please stay back and take care of her.
This statement will certainly leave everyone in stitches. Also, they’ll surely understand that you don’t want to be at work. And who knows, you might just tell your boss and he gives you the day off to take care of granny.
My Car Radio Is Broken, You Know I Can’t Drive without Music
When you don’t want to go to work, one of the excuses you can come up with is that your car radio is broken and you can’t drive without music.
Anyone who hears this one should empathize with you. Driving alone can be very boring, so music is very important. I’m sure your employer will understand if you stay back until you fix your radio.
I Heard the Buses Were Attacked by Bears Yesterday
Another perfect excuse when you don’t feel like going to work is saying that bears attacked the buses yesterday.
If you don’t have a car and you take the buses to work, this is the perfect hilarious excuse that will express your hesitation about going to work and, at the same time, leave everyone laughing.
I Heard in the Television That I’ve Been Given a Public Holiday
Another perfect excuse that indicates you want to be home rather than at work is saying that you’ve been given a public holiday.
The humor lies in saying that you alone were given the public holiday.
Shock someone with this hilarious statement to let them know you don’t want to be at work.
I Saw in the Dream That I Shouldn’t Be at Work Today
“I saw in the dream that I shouldn’t be at work today” is another statement that’ll leave your audience in stitches.
This one explains that you’ve been warned in the dream not to be at work. Anyone who hears this statement will know you don’t want to be at work.
The Weather Is Too Cold for Me, I Might Just Die if I Step Out in This Cold
This is another humorous way to let someone know that you don’t want to go to work.
Moreover, anyone will take pity on you if they know that the cold outside might kill you if you step outside.
So, this is one of the excuses you can come up with when you want to be home rather than be at work.
I’ve Run Out of Makeup
“I’ve run out of makeup” is another excuse to give when you don’t want to go to work.
This statement suggests that you can’t step out without makeup.
Not only is it ridiculous, but it’s also funny to think someone will take you seriously.
The Astrologer Just Announced That There’s a High Chance of Accident Happening on Every Major Road
This one is another ridiculous excuse to come up with if you don’t want to go to work.
It’s quite hilarious, as it implies that you’re the only one who probably heard the astrologer make the announcement.
Anyone who hears this will know you’re only kidding.
My Boss Doesn’t Like Seeing My Face on Wednesday
“My boss doesn’t like seeing my face on Wednesday” is another funny way to say you don’t want to go to work.
It’s quite humorous, as it plays the annoying boss card, indicating that your boss is always annoying on Wednesday.
When someone asks you why you’re not preparing to go to work, this is the perfect hilarious answer to give them.
My Guts Tells Me I’ll Win a Lottery if I Stay at Home
“My guts tell me I’ll win a lottery if I stay at home” is another ridiculous excuse to give if you don’t want to go to work.
Saying that your guts tell you is what makes it very hilarious. If you want to get a laugh out of your boss, give him this reason why you want to be home, and he might just agree if you’ll accept to give him a part of the lottery money.
But I hope your guts never lie.
I Just Suddenly Developed Serious Stomach Pain in My Leg
“I just suddenly developed a serious stomach pain in my leg” is another humorous excuse you can think of when you don’t want to be at work.
Anyone who doesn’t pay attention to you carefully will think you’ve got a leg ache. But of course, you’re having a stomach ache in the leg.
So, cause some good laughs with this silly statement.
I Have a Feeling There’s Going to Be Fog Everywhere, So I Won’t See My Way Through
Saying that there’s going to be fog everywhere on a workday is another silly excuse that indicates you don’t want to go to work.
This one is quite hilarious, as it means that you have a feeling, not that there’s any fog in sight.
So, whenever you feel too lazy to go to work, give this hilarious excuse to your employer or anyone who cares to listen. I’m sure they’ll trust your feelings.
I’m Having Cramps in the Brain
Cramps in the brain are something serious and shouldn’t be joked about. So, ensure you use this excuse when you don’t want to go to work and your listener will understand.
It’ll be more hilarious if you can act sick, holding your head like you’ll hold your stomach when you’re having stomach cramps.
My Cat Is Having Cramps, I Have to Take Care of It
“My cat is having cramps, I have to take care of it” is another humorous way to let someone know you don’t want to go to work.
This one is another hilarious way to use your pet as an excuse. If you don’t feel like going to work, telling someone that you need to take care of your cat that has cramps tells them your real intention.
My Ex-Wife Just Stole My Car, I Have to Take Care of This Emergency
“My ex-wife just stole my car, I have to take care of this emergency” will certainly cause some laughs.
What makes this line more interesting is that it’s almost believable. If you’ve got an ex who’s toxic or obsessed, you can’t put this kind of action past them.
So, when next you feel like staying at home, you can try this line with your boss. He’s sure to take pity on you.
My Dog Is Having Serious Hiccups, I Have to Take It to the Hospital
Think about it; it’s unfair to leave a dog hiccupping and leave for work. The animal protection agency might come for you.
So, whenever you want to stay back home, bring up this hilarious excuse and you might just get the day off.
I’m Separating a Fight Between My Dog and Cat, It Might Take the Whole Day
“I’m separating a fight between my dog and cat, it might take the whole day” is another funny thing to say when you don’t want to go to work.
This one is another interesting way to play the animal card. And truly separating a dog and cat fat is not a day’s job, so your boss should understand.
I’ll Be Auditioning for the X-Men Apocalypse
“I’ll be auditioning for the X-Men apocalypse” offers another crazy excuse to give someone when you don’t want to go to work.
“X-Men Apocalypse” is part of the film in the famous X-Men series. Since X-Men is very famous, anyone will understand if you leave work to go for an audition.
However, if you’ll be telling your boss, ensure you’re prepared to take up a cleaning job if you don’t get auditioned.
I’m Having the Biggest Premonition That the Sky Will Fall off if I Step Out Today
“I’m having the biggest premonition that the sky will fall off if I step out today” is another silly thing to say if you don’t want to show up at work.
While this might sound hilarious and ridiculous, the excuse is valid, right? No one will certainly want to be outside if they know the sky will fall.
So, you can pull this up with your boss; at your own risk anyways.
I’m Shy to Turn Up to Work Today
“I’m shy to turn up to work today” will certainly leave anyone in stitches.
If you don’t want to go to work, this excuse is quite hilarious and understandable.
My Cat Just Swallowed My Car Key, I’m with It at the A&E
If your cat swallowed your car key, going to work should be the last thing on your mind.
Cause some good laugh with this ridiculous statement when you feel like staying at home all day.
My Cat Is Depressed and Asked Me to Stay at Home Today. I Think It’s Going Through a Heartbreak
Saying your cat is depressed is another funny excuse to come up with if you don’t want to go to work.
Also, adding that it asked you to stay at home makes it more hilarious. Additionally, suggesting that it’s going through a heartbreak should leave everyone in stitches.
A Chicken Broke into My Home and Attacked My Father. I’m Taking Care of Things
This is another funny thing to say when you don’t want to go to work.
Anyone who hears that a chicken not only broke into your home but also attacked your father should end up on the floor in laughter.
It’s Snowing Heavily Inside My House, We’re Trying to Figure Out the Problem
This one is another hilarious excuse to give when you don’t want to go to work.
It’ll certainly cause some good laughs, more so emphasizing that you’re trying to figure out the problem.
