The term “Mercury in retrograde” has become a popular way to explain life’s sudden mishaps or strange occurrences. But what if we took this phrase and applied it to the people around us, especially those who seem to create chaos wherever they go?
If you think in this way too, then this article is for you. Whether you’re playfully calling out a friend or just want to express that someone is being particularly unusual, I have provided 20 funny ways to say “Mercury in retrograde someone.”
These phrases mix sarcasm, wit, and humor to keep things light but pointed.
20 Funny Ways to Say “Mercury in Retrograde Someone”
- Looks like you’ve been retrograding since birth.
- Is Mercury in your chart or are you just always like this?
- You’ve got more retrograde energy than the solar system.
- Ah, I see. Mercury isn’t just in retrograde, it’s living in your head rent-free.
- I don’t need to check my horoscope, I can just look at you.
- Your aura just screamed ‘Mercury in retrograde.
- Looks like all your planets are retrograding at once.
- Your vibe says ‘I’ll blame it on Mercury, but it’s really me.
- Are you in retrograde or just having a rough year?
- I’m not saying you’re a walking Mercury in retrograde, but…
- How do you manage to stay in retrograde 365 days a year?
- If chaos had a name, it’d be you during Mercury retrograde.
- I see you’re syncing with Mercury’s mood swings again.
- You’re the human equivalent of Mercury in retrograde.
- Retrograde isn’t a phase, it’s your lifestyle.
- If Mercury had a mascot, it’d be you.
- You’ve got that retrograde energy down to an art form.
- I didn’t know Mercury could retrograde twice as hard, until now.
- Looks like you retrograded through that situation like a pro.
- You don’t need Mercury in retrograde..you make your own chaos.
1. Looks like you’ve been retrograding since birth.
To start with, this phrase humorously suggests that someone has been in a perpetual state of chaos or confusion for as long as they’ve been alive. It’s a lighthearted way of saying someone’s actions have always been a bit unusual.
Examples:
- Looks like you’ve been retrograding since birth. How else do you explain your ability to spill coffee and trip over air?
- Every time you show up late, I just remind myself, ‘It’s not you, it’s Mercury in retrograde… since birth.
2. Is Mercury in your chart or are you just always like this?
This statement takes a playful jab at astrology enthusiasts, asking if the person’s erratic behavior is due to Mercury’s positioning or just their regular personality.
It’s perfect for those who always seem to blame external forces(Zodiac signs) for their mistakes.
Examples:
- Is Mercury in your chart or are you just always like this? Because your ability to miss every deadline is cosmic.
- Every time you misplace something, I wonder: Is Mercury acting up, or is this just your signature move?
3. You’ve got more retrograde energy than the solar system.
Sometimes, a person’s energy feels so chaotic that even the universe can’t compete. This phrase sarcastically compliments someone’s ability to embody the full, retrograde experience.
Examples:
- You’ve got more retrograde energy than the solar system. I mean, how else do you keep losing your phone and finding it in the fridge?
- With your level of retrograde energy, I’m surprised the stars aren’t asking for lessons.
4. Ah, I see. Mercury isn’t just in retrograde, it’s living in your head rent-free.
A witty observation that someone has fully embraced the chaos of Mercury in retrograde, so much so that it’s taken up permanent residence in their mind. This is for the person who is constantly tense, no matter what season it is.
Examples:
- Ah, I see. Mercury isn’t just in retrograde, it’s living in your head rent-free. No wonder you sent that email to the wrong person… again.
- With the way you’ve been forgetting everything, it’s clear Mercury’s taken over up there.
5. I don’t need to check my horoscope, I can just look at you.
Why bother reading astrology predictions when this person’s behavior tells you all you need to know? This is a humorous way of saying someone’s actions are a perfect reflection of the typical chaos associated with Mercury in retrograde.
Examples:
- I don’t need to check my horoscope, I can just look at you. Every time you drop something, I know it’s the retrograde season.
- Forget the stars, you’re my personal astrology update.
6. Your aura just screamed ‘Mercury in retrograde.
A playful way to describe someone whose entire energy feels like one big Mercury retrograde moment. This phrase takes the idea of vibes to a comical extreme, suggesting the person is practically radiating confusion.
Examples:
- Your aura just screamed ‘Mercury in retrograde’ when you walked in. I’m guessing the printer broke again?
- I didn’t even have to ask what’s wrong. Your retrograde energy entered the room before you did.
7. Looks like all your planets are retrograding at once.
This sarcastic remark ups the speculation by suggesting that not just Mercury, but all of someone’s astrological planets are in a state of chaos. It’s the perfect line for those particularly chaotic days.
Examples:
- Looks like all your planets are retrograding at once. Between the coffee spill and the missed meeting, it’s a full cosmic meltdown.
- When you lost your keys and your wallet, I thought, ‘Yep, that’s a full planetary retrograde right there.’”
8. Your vibe says ‘I’ll blame it on Mercury, but it’s really me.
For the person who always uses Mercury in retrograde as an excuse, this is a teasing call-out that maybe just maybe, their own habits are the real culprit.
Examples:
- Your vibe says ‘I’ll blame it on Mercury, but it’s really me.’ Honestly, I don’t think the stars caused you to lock yourself out again.
- It’s easy to blame Mercury, but let’s be real, you’ve been misplacing your keys since January.
9. Are you in retrograde or just having a rough year?
This is a humorous acknowledgment that someone’s chaotic behavior has been going on for so long, it’s hard to tell whether it’s a temporary retrograde or just their new normal.
Examples:
- Are you in retrograde or just having a rough year? Because that’s the third time you’ve shown up on the wrong day.
- I’d ask if it’s Mercury, but you’ve been like this since last winter.
10. I’m not saying you’re a walking Mercury in retrograde, but…”
This expression is a perfect setup for a playful jab. This phrase lets someone know they’re embodying all the confusion and miscommunication of a retrograde season without actually saying it outright.
Examples:
- I’m not saying you’re a walking Mercury in retrograde, but… you did just try to unlock your car with your house key.
- Not calling you retrograde, but you’ve been texting the wrong group chat all day.
11. How do you manage to stay in retrograde 365 days a year?
Some people seem to be in a constant state of disarray, regardless of the stars. This is a sarcastic way to point out that someone is always in “retrograde mode.”
Examples:
- How do you manage to stay in retrograde 365 days a year? Every day with you feels like a Mercury meltdown.
- I thought retrograde only lasted a few weeks, but you’ve made it a lifestyle.
12. If chaos had a name, it’d be you during Mercury retrograde.
A direct and humorous way to tell someone they epitomize chaos, especially during Mercury’s infamous retrograde periods.
Examples:
- If chaos had a name, it’d be you during Mercury retrograde. You’ve lost your wallet three times today.
- The stars may be to blame, but you’ve turned it into an art form.
13. I see you’re syncing with Mercury’s mood swings again.
This phrase playfully accuses someone of being as unpredictable and erratic as Mercury’s retrograde phases.
Examples:
- I see you’re syncing with Mercury’s mood swings again. One minute you’re calm, the next you’ve misplaced your entire bag.
- You’re really in tune with the stars…those retrograde vibes are strong today.
14. You’re the human equivalent of Mercury in retrograde.
For those who seem to embody all the miscommunication, confusion, and technical glitches of Mercury in retrograde, this phrase makes a funny yet pointed observation.
Examples:
- You’re the human equivalent of Mercury in retrograde. I mean, you just sent a blank email to everyone.
- Mercury has nothing on you…you’ve been causing chaos long before retrograde season.
15. Retrograde isn’t a phase, it’s your lifestyle.
Some people seem permanently stuck in a retrograde state. This sarcastic remark pokes fun at those who are always a little abnormal.
For those who seem perpetually in a state of confusion or chaos, this phrase humorously suggests that their state of being is a constant, not just a temporary issue.
Examples:
- Retrograde isn’t a phase, it’s your lifestyle. With the way you keep messing up your schedule, it’s clear this is your permanent mode.
- For you, retrograde isn’t a phase, it’s a daily reality. I’m surprised you manage to keep your phone charged.
16. If Mercury had a mascot, it’d be you.
A playful and exaggerated way of saying that someone perfectly represents the essence of Mercury in retrograde. This phrase imagines them as the face of retrograde chaos.
Examples:
- If Mercury had a mascot, it’d be you. The way you’ve been mixing up dates and names is truly impressive.
- You’re so aligned with retrograde that I’m sure Mercury would choose you as its official spokesperson.
17. You’ve got that retrograde energy down to an art form.
Some people turn their chaotic tendencies into skillful practice. This phrase humorously acknowledges that they’ve mastered the art of being perpetually out of sync.
Examples:
- You’ve got that retrograde energy down to an art form. Your ability to get lost in a familiar place is unparalleled.
- It’s impressive how you’ve turned being out of sync into a refined skill. Mercury would be proud.
18. I didn’t know Mercury could retrograde twice as hard, until now.
This phrase takes a humorous look at someone’s particularly intense version of retrograde energy, suggesting that they’ve redefined what it means to be in retrograde.
Examples:
- I didn’t know Mercury could retrograde twice as hard, until now. Your mix-ups and mishaps are next-level.
- You’ve set a new standard for retrograde chaos. If Mercury had extra gear, you’d be in it.
19. Looks like you retrograded through that situation like a pro.
‘Looks like you retrograded through that situation like a pro’ lighthearted way to compliment someone on their ability to navigate or mishandle a situation with all the characteristic flair of Mercury in retrograde.
Examples:
- Looks like you retrograded through that situation like a pro. I’ve never seen someone lose their way in a simple meeting so elegantly.
- You handled that confusion like a true retrograde veteran. Impressive, really.
20. You don’t need Mercury in retrograde, you make your own chaos.
This phrase humorously suggests that someone doesn’t need astrological events to explain their chaotic behavior that they do a great job of creating their own.
Examples:
- With the way you mix up the dates for our plans was a masterpiece, you don’t need Mercury in retrograde, you make your own chaos.
- Who needs Mercury when you’ve got your own brand of chaos? Your ability to forget everything is unmatched.
Conclusion
Navigating life with someone who seems perpetually in Mercury retrograde can be both amusing and exhausting at the same time.
With these 20 funny ways to say “good riddance” to their cosmic chaos, you can infuse humor into what might otherwise be a frustrating experience.
The article ranges from playful jabs about their eternal retrograde energy to witty remarks about their mastery of confusion.
Also it provides a lighthearted way to address the perpetual state of disarray that can come with such a personality.
These expressions provide a variety of funny options that strike a balance between sarcasm and charm, whether you are making jokes with friends or mocking a coworker.
Remember, it’s all in good fun, after all, everyone has their oddity and moments of chaos, and sometimes, a little laughter is the best way to handle it.
So next time you find yourself dealing with someone whose life seems to be a continuous retrograde cycle, use one of these witty lines to express your frustration with a smile.
