Getting a Colonoscopy can be quite nerve-wracking, especially if it’s the first time.
A colonoscopy is a procedure that allows the viewing of the insides of the large intestine for certain disease diagnoses.
Although sedation is an option for this exercise, it doesn’t eliminate the anxiousness that often accompanies patients before the process.
In this article, I’ll be providing a list of funny things to say to someone getting a colonoscopy to calm their anxiety.
50 Funny Things to Say to Someone Getting a Colonoscopy
Below are 50 things to say to someone getting a colonoscopy:
- It’s alright, just sit tight and think about it as an exam you must not fail
- Don’t worry, your anus is a bit ugly, so the doctors won’t look much
- You have nothing to worry about, they won’t find what they’re looking for in your guts
- You must have the guts to let them see your guts
- You don’t have to be nervous, your anus is about to become a celebrity
- Comport yourself and allow the doctors to get to the bottom of things quickly
- I’m sure your butt cracks will love the attention
- Just think about it as your colon getting a spa treatment
- It’s not that difficult, the machine can’t detect your secret
- If they find a bag of diamonds in there, it’s mine
- Keep calm, the doctors might just discover a fortune that’ll change your life
- I hope they don’t find last night’s dinner, it won’t be funny
- You should be happy you get to see your large intestine on the screen
- You should be thankful, not everyone gets to have this experience
- Just think of it as a mind-bumming experience
- Smile already, not everyone gets to get their pipe viewed and cleaned
- At least we don’t have to worry about the stench of your fart
- Maybe you’ll stop farting after this. It’s a win-win
- Time to get your anus in the limelight
- You’re at least receiving special treatment
- Think about your colon featuring like a movie on the screen
- We will know if you’ve got a beautiful inside after all
- Don’t you want to know if you truly have guts?
- Don’t forget to ask for pictures so you create a reel
- It’s a lifetime opportunity everyone is waiting for
- Hey, at least you get to know the color of your intestine, not everyone gets such opportunities
- Don’t worry about the doctors seeing all the shit, it isn’t that shitty
- Just close your eyes if you don’t want them to see you see them seeing you
- Isn’t it a good thing that your guts are about to be the center of attraction?
- Just imagine the doctors are scavenging for treasures in your insides
- Here’s wishing you a happy colonoscopy
- Soon you’ll be celebrating a colonoscopic anniversary, it’s worth it
- If you hear any rumbling noises, don’t worry your guts are just clearing the road for the visitors
- Your insides are about to get visitors for the first time, it’s good news
- Just think about it as a gut tour, must be fun
- You should be excited your butt gets to be in the spotlight
- You know is not every day they get to shove a camera up anyone’s ass, you should count yours as a privilege
- Don’t worry, it’s only you and the doctor who’ll see your insides and all that’s hidden
- It’s now we will know the type of guts you have
- Don’t worry, you’ll enjoy seeing what you’re made of
- Soon, we’ll celebrate your new guts
- Congratulations on getting your guts cleaned up
- I’m jealous you’ll know what your insides look like. It’s a big feat
- Cheers to a new life with cleaner guts
- Just be calm so you don’t pass gas and mess things up
- You should be all smiles they will be watching and washing your guts
- I’m sure after this procedure you’ll be more excited to show your guts since they’re cleaner
- Now, you’ll understand what inner beauty feels like
- It’s today we’ll know whether you’ve got inner beauty or not
- You must be shitting me! I’m looking forward to seeing what you’re made of
It’s alright, just sit tight and think about it as an exam you must not fail
Telling someone to see a colonoscopy as an exam they must not fail is a hilarious way to encourage them to be calm for the procedure.
Don’t worry, your anus is a bit ugly, so the doctors won’t look much
This one is a playful way to get them to laugh and release the tension. It’s a jovial way to assure them that the procedure will be fast.
You have nothing to worry about, they won’t find what they’re looking for in your guts
Another beautiful way to calm someone about to go for a colonoscopy is with this comical statement. It assures them that all will be fine in the end.
You must have the guts to let them see your guts
This statement is another jovial one that’ll cause a good laugh and help your friend about having a colonoscopy, combining humor with facts.
You don’t have to be nervous, your anus is about to become a celebrity
Another funny sentence to leave with someone getting a colonoscopy. They’re sure to be happy that a part of them is getting attention like a celebrity.
Comport yourself and allow the doctors to get to the bottom of things quickly
This one is another thing to say that combines humor and pun. While admonishing them to be calm, adding that the doctors need to get to the bottom of things is a creative pun that adds some fun.
I’m sure your butt cracks will love the attention
Another jolly way to leave everyone in stitches. This one implies that they’ve got cracks in their butts, they certainly won’t miss the joke.
Just think about it as your colon getting a spa treatment
Who wouldn’t want a spa treatment? Remind your friend about going in for a colonoscopy that it’s the same as getting a spa treatment. They’re surely going to laugh and forget their nervousness for a while.
It’s not that difficult, the machine can’t detect your secret
When you notice your friend or sibling worried about getting a colonoscopy, ease their nerves by reminding them that their secret is safe from the examination.
If they find a bag of diamonds in there, it’s mine
Tell your friend about going for a colonoscopy and that any bag of diamonds the doctors find inside of them belongs to you. They’ll probably forget about their nervousness and muse about why it should belong to you.
Keep calm, the doctors might just discover a fortune that’ll change your life
When you tell someone about getting a colonoscopy that the doctors might find a fortune that’ll change their life, they, of course, know it’s not true. However, it’s just the perfect thing to say to ease their discomfort.
I hope they don’t find last night’s dinner, it won’t be funny
Another perfect thing to say to tease your friend who’s about to go in for a procedure to check their intestines. When they think about the doctors still finding their last dinner inside, I bet they’ll be less worried about the process itself.
You should be happy you get to see your large intestine on the screen
Not everyone gets to see their large intestine on the screen. Many will die before it happens. So, remind someone about going for a colonoscopy to be happy rather than worry. I bet they’ll be eased up a little.
You should be thankful, not everyone gets to have this experience
Another thing you can say to make someone going in to check their intestine crack up a little is to remind them to be thankful rather than frightened.
Just think of it as a mind-bumming experience
If they see colonoscopy as a mind-bumming (blowing) experience, I bet they’d be more excited about the whole process. This creative pun is sure to ease them up a bit.
Smile already, not everyone gets to get their pipe viewed and cleaned
Another interesting way to ease up the nerves of someone getting a colonoscopy. Reminding them their pipe is going to be cleaned should get them looking forward to it.
At least we don’t have to worry about the stench of your fart
Another amusing way to get to someone getting a colonoscopy is to remind them the exercise will get them cleaned up, including their gasses.
It’s an interesting way to ease their tension while mocking them about the stink of their fart.
Maybe you’ll stop farting after this. It’s a win-win
This one is certain to get everyone rolling in laughing. Telling your loved ones getting a colonoscopy that they might stop farting after the exercise is a crazy way to remind them about their fart horrible smell.
Time to get your anus in the limelight
“Time to get your anus in the limelight” will certainly cause a good laugh. It points out that their anus is about getting a celebrity’s attention. I bet they’d like it.
You’re at least receiving special treatment
When your loved ones are wracked up with nerves before a colonoscopy, remind them that they’re about to receive a special treatment. It’s something that should amuse them.
Think about your colon featuring like a movie on the screen
If your friend is someone who has always fantasized about getting on the screen, this sentence will work to lessen their fright before a colonoscopy. A teasing one, incorporating both fact and humor.
We will know if you’ve got a beautiful inside after all
Another jovial way to tease someone getting a colonoscopy. It’s a clever one that combines humor and pun to get to them. I bet they’ll be eager to know if their insides are beautiful too.
Don’t you want to know if you truly have guts?
Another creative pun that’ll leave everyone in stitches. When your loved one is tense about getting a colonoscopy, throw this question to them to crack them up. They certainly would want to know if they’ve got guts.
Don’t forget to ask for pictures so you create a reel
If they’re content and TikTok or social media freaks, remind them to take pictures for reels. It’s sure to cool their nerves and help them look forward to something else.
It’s a lifetime opportunity everyone is waiting for
Playfully throw jabs at them that what they’re getting worked up for is a lifetime opportunity everyone is waiting for. It’s one of the perfect ways to lessen their fright.
Hey, at least you get to know the color of your intestine, not everyone gets such opportunities
They’re certainly privileged to get to see the color of their intestines. So, remind someone getting a colonoscopy that it’s a big opportunity they should embrace and not worry about. It should get a smile on their face.
Don’t worry about the doctors seeing all the shit, it isn’t that shitty
Another comical way to lighten up the mood when your loved one is getting a colonoscopy. It’s a punny statement that’ll cause a good laugh.
Just close your eyes if you don’t want them to see you see them seeing you
This one will leave everyone in laughter. It’s a creative and ridiculous thing to say to lighten up the mood.
Isn’t it a good thing that your guts are about to be the center of attraction?
Who wouldn’t want to be the center of attraction? Tease your friend getting a colonoscopy that their guts are going to be the center of attraction.
Just imagine the doctors are scavenging for treasures in your insides
This one works to get their mind off their situation, helping them see the brighter side while incorporating a playful jab.
Here’s wishing you a happy colonoscopy
A simple but comical declaration to leave with someone about getting a colonoscopy. It should get them to smile.
Soon you’ll be celebrating a colonoscopic anniversary, it’s worth it
It is another wonderful and jovial way to lighten the mood when someone is about to go for a medical procedure.
If you hear any rumbling noises, don’t worry your guts are just clearing the road for the visitors
They should probably be hiccupping in laughter after hearing this one.
Your insides are about to get visitors for the first time, it’s good news
This is another jolly way to poke fun at someone getting a colonoscopy. It’s a perfect way to lessen their fright.
Just think about it as a gut tour, must be fun
“Just think about it as a gut tour, must be fun” should cause some good laughs, as it creatively makes light of the exercise, making it appear less frightening.
You should be excited your butt gets to be in the spotlight
“You should be excited your butt gets to be in the spotlight” is another butt-cracking joke to break the tension in the atmosphere. It’ll work well for someone getting to check their large intestine.
You know is not every day they get to shove a camera up anyone’s ass, you should count yours as a privilege
Playfully remind them with this sentence that it’s a privilege to get a camera shoved up their ass literally. I bet they’ll cringe at the bluntness, but it’s win-win, as they get to wonder more about the ridiculousness.
Don’t worry, it’s only you and the doctor who’ll see your insides and all that’s hidden
When your friend is fretting about getting a colonoscopy, jokingly point out that they’re the only one and doctor who’ll see their intestines to calm them.
It’s now we will know the type of guts you have
“It’s now we will know the type of guts you have” will work for someone outspoken. A punny sentence that teases them and their supposed bravery.
Don’t worry, you’ll enjoy seeing what you’re made of
Who wouldn’t want to know what they’re made of? This piece is another amusing way to poke fun at someone getting a colonoscopy.
Soon, we’ll celebrate your new guts
While they’re working themselves up with worry, remind someone getting a colonoscopy that they’ll be celebrated soon.
Congratulations on getting your guts cleaned up
This one should let them know that the whole process is to get them cleaned up. Using a playful tone should work to calm them.
I’m jealous, you’ll know what your insides look like. It’s a big feat
Make it look like you’re jealous of them attaining a big feat with this statement. It’ll work well for someone getting a colonoscopy to get them to smile.
Cheers to a new life with cleaner guts
A simple yet rewarding way to lighten the atmosphere when a loved one is about getting a medical procedure done.
Just be calm so you don’t pass gas and mess things up
This one is certain to leave everyone in laughter. It’s a funny and punny statement that urges them to be calm. It should work effectively.
You should be all smiles they will be watching and washing your guts
Brighten their mood with this reminder that it’s all for their good.
I’m sure after this procedure you’ll be more excited to show your guts since they’re cleaner
This one will make fun of them and their confidence.
Now, you’ll understand what inner beauty feels like
Another amusing pun to leave everyone in stitches.
It’s today we’ll know whether you’ve got inner beauty or not
When they muse on this statement, they’ll be more worried about whether their insides are clean or not. A perfect way to ease their anxiety.
You must be shitting me! I’m looking forward to seeing what you’re made of
Another creative pun that’ll cause some good laughs.
