Being in a car accident is a terrible experience that no one wants to go through. It can be hard to find something funny in such a situation.
However, making a light joke after a car accident can help ease the tension and give people a reason to smile, even in a stressful moment.
But you need to choose your words carefully so that you don’t come across as insensitive to what just happened.
With that in mind, we’ve put together a list of 50 funny comments you can make after a car accident. We’ve also included short explanations to help you use them in the right way.
Key Takeaways
- It’s best not to try being “funny” right after a car accident. Instead, focus on being thankful that everyone is safe.
- If you do want to make a funny comment, avoid joking about the injuries or the scary parts of the accident. Instead, focus on the positive side of things.
- Phrases like, “Next time, I’ll stick to driving in video games” or “Well, at least now I have an interesting story to tell” are good examples of light jokes you can make after a car accident.
There are different ways to look at this situation. Maybe the accident just happened, it’s not too serious, and while you’re still in the car, you want to say something to make everyone smile a little.
Or maybe someone you know was in the accident, and you visit them in the hospital to cheer them up with a funny comment.
In most cases, though, it could be you who was driving and had the accident.
Whatever the situation, you can check out our list of funny remarks below to find the right one.
List of the Best Funny Things to say After a Car Accident
- You’ve arrived at your destination.
- Let’s just crash for the night!
- Lucky we still alive
- Hey where did the road go?
- Next time, I’ll stick to driving in video games.
- At least now I have a great story to tell.
- It’s fine, I only do this every other day
- Glad I was wearing clean underwear
- Well, that was one way to test my airbags
- Looks like the universe wanted me to take a break.
- Does this qualify me for a stunt double job?
- I swear, this wasn’t on today’s to-do list.
- At least now I don’t have to wash the car!
- I’m just testing out my reflexes. They work… kind of.
- Anyone got a spare teleportation device?
- I think my car’s allergic to smooth roads.
- And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I don’t do my own stunts.
- If you didn’t hear it, did it even happen?
- Guess I’m just too fast, too furious.
- This is what happens when I drive after a motivational speech.
- Plot twist: I was just trying to park.
- Well, that escalated quickly.
- Can we call this a test run?
- Well, that wasn’t in the plan!
- I think I missed the stop sign… by a mile.
- At least my driving skills match my dance moves—terrible!
- So… does this count as a new shortcut?
- I just wanted to test if the brakes really work.
- Looks like I found the speed bump.
- I would have said ‘cool,’ but this is surely an ‘oops.’
- And that’s why I shouldn’t multitask with music and driving!
- I didn’t see the crash coming… literally.
- I was trying to fly, but I think I need more practice.
- Guess I just gave the car a new ‘personality.’
- Can we just call this ‘a small detour’?
- Is it too late to blame the GPS?
- Hey, at least we know the car can stop—really well.
- Next time, I’ll leave the stunts to the pros.
- I was just testing the limits of bad luck.
- Well, that’s one way to get everyone’s attention!
- Well, that escalated quickly!
- Oops, wrong pedal.
- Guess I wasn’t built for speed.
- Parking skills: 0, Wall: 1.
- I call that a creative stop!
- And I thought today would be boring!
- Note to self: Slow down!
- Well, I nailed the landing… kinda.
- If you didn’t hear it, did it even happen?
- It’s fine, I only do this every other day
No matter the line you eventually choose, it’s better to say it when you’re sure the mood is light and no one’s hurt.
Making a joke when people are counting their loses can be ill-timed. So observe the situation first before saying anything comic.
Now, to make it easier, we’ve provided short explanations to each comment so you know which one is better to use.
1. You’ve arrived at your destination
Imagine saying this just after the car hit a ditch. It brings comic relief but not in the laugh-out-loud kind of way.
2. Let’s just crash for the night!
Let’s just crash for the night is something you’d say to make your friends spend the night over. But saying this immediately after a light car crash, spells all humour.
3. Lucky we still alive
You can consider the brighter side of the incident and talk lightly about it.
4. Hey where did the road go?
Asking this rhetoric question immeditaely after a light car accident can surely inspire a good laugh amon the passengers.
5. Next time, I’ll stick to driving in video games
Injuries do not affect you when driving in video games. A joke delivered with self depreciation will always be a bang.
6. At least now I have a great story to tell
The experience of the car crash will give you a tale to tell others about life threatening cases you’ve experienced. That counts for something.
7. It’s fine, I only do this every other day
If you were the one driving and the accident happend, you can use this funny remark to make the tension lighter. It’s all sarcasm.
8. Glad I was wearing clean underwear
It may not be a ghastly accident that burnt your clothes. But you can use that idea to talk about less important stuff compared to losing lives in the accident.
9. Well, that was one way to test my airbags
Again, talking about something trivial in the midst of the accident can surely inspire some laughter. One of such is the airbags thingy.
10. Looks like the universe wanted me to take a break
Blaming the universe for the incident may sound logical, but when you put it this way, expect people to chuckle.
11. Does this qualify me for a stunt double job?
The fact that you survived a car accident says alot about what you’ve experience. Should it be in your resume? Others will tell. 1
12. I swear, this wasn’t on today’s to-do list
Obviously, nobody plans to be in a car accident. So when it happens and you make this statement, it will surely sound hilarious yet true.
13. At least now I don’t have to wash the car!
If the car accident involved bad damage, you can sound funny by talking about the good side of things. Even though they don’t matter that much.
14. I’m just testing out my reflexes. They work… kind of
Of course, this would be a lie. But not all the funniest things are always true.
15. Anyone got a spare teleportation device?
The phrase, “Anyone got a spare teleportation device?” passes for a safe joke to make after a car accident.
16. I think my car’s allergic to smooth roads
After ensuring everyone is fine, you can make a funny excuse that you car’s allergic to good roads.
17. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I don’t do my own stunts.
Instead of trying to make fun of people that were hurt, jokingly talk about what the experience would mean later on.
18. If you didn’t hear it, did it even happen?
You can use this rhetoric question to make your passenger chortle after a slight car accident.
19. Guess I’m just too fast, too furious
Most car accidents happen when the car moves too fast at the wrong time. You can use the movie “fast and furious” reference for this.
20. This is what happens when I drive after a motivational speech
While it’s illogical to blame motivational speakers for your reckless driving, you can surely and humorously connect the relationship.
21. Plot twist: I was just trying to park
A snappy joke will always win the hearts of people, especially when timed well. This is a good example.
22. Well, that escalated quickly
If the accident happend too fast, but everyone is safe. In that short moment of silence, you can chip in this remark.
23. Can we call this a test run?
The funny part of this remark is in its vagueness. The passenger will wonder in amazement what you mean by test running.
24. Well, that wasn’t in the plan!
No one plans to have an accident while driving. So you can put that in a funny way to make them smile at least.
25. I think I missed the stop sign… by a mile
You can exaggerate the issue of driving with too much speed which led to the accident.
26. At least my driving skills match my dance moves—terrible
Another way you can sound funny after a car accident is to compare the issue with flopping a dance trick. Works effortlessly.
27. So… does this count as a new shortcut?
Shortcut in this context is when you ply wrong roads and then it causes an accident but eventually lands you in the destination.
28. I just wanted to test if the brakes really work
Talking about the brakes after a car accident will always strike humour after a car accident. But it depends on how you put it. That;s why this one sounds better.
29. Looks like I found the speed bump
Imagine running over a speed bump over 150 mph. Crash! But the idea of this joke is to simply visualise the whole thing in a comic tone.
30. I would have said ‘cool,’ but this is surely an ‘oops’
Sometimes, the way a car accident happen, you’d want to say “that was cool.” But again, it’s a tragic event.
31. And that’s why I shouldn’t multitask with music and driving
Sometimes, the loud sound of music can discounnect you from conscious driving. You can hilariously tie that to the cause of the event.
32. I didn’t see the crash coming… literally
Nobody actively anticipates a car accident. You’ve got to be a banshee.
33. I was trying to fly, but I think I need more practice
Twisting the whole situation to imply that the intention was to fly will surely inspire laughter among others in the car.
34. Guess I just gave the car a new ‘personality’
“Personality” in this context means a new look. It’s a funny way to address the damage done on the car during the accident.
35. Can we just call this ‘a small detour’?
Comparing the car accident to a small detour will surely bring out a funny aspect out of the whole situation.
36. Is it too late to blame the GPS?
Asking whether you can blame the GPS sounds funny, especially when this is the first thing that comes out of your mouth after running them into a ditch (and no one was hurt).
37. Hey, at least we know the car can stop—really well
A car accident is not a thing to joke about. But you can make a funny comments to things surrouding the incident…like how well the car stopped.
38. Next time, I’ll leave the stunts to the pros
The car accident is a result of “what I watch in the movies” gone bad. So it makes sense to use that angle as well.
39. I was just testing the limits of bad luck
Saying you actively caused the accident just to test the depth of bad luck will surely make someone chortle. But expect to get a punch.
40. Well, that’s one way to get everyone’s attention
Pretending that you anticipated the car accident and you purposely caused it to get everyone’s attention will cause a stir. But with the right deliver, this is pure comedy after chaos.
41. Well, that escalated quickly!
If the accident happend too fast, but everyone is safe. In that short moment of silence, you can chip in this remark.
42. Oops, wrong pedal
You can quickly transition from the car accident chaos to comedy by yelling “Oops wrong pedal” after the incident.
43. Guess I wasn’t built for speed
If speed was the main reason why the car accident happened while you were driving, then this line makes perfect sense to use.
44. Parking skills: 0, Wall: 1
Even incidents as little as bumbing a wall as you try to park can be called car accidents. In such a case, you can use this one.
45. I call that a creative stop
Sometimes, it could be that you avoided the car accident narrowly. But when others explain, they will still see it as an accident.
46. And I thought today would be boring!
Happenings like accidents are not boring. So you can make a funny comments from such an angle.
47. I think my car’s allergic to smooth roads
After ensuring everyone is fine, you can make a funny excuse that you car’s allergic to good roads.
48. Next time, I’ll stick to driving in video games
Injuries do not affect you when driving in video games. A joke delivered with self depreciation will always be a bang.
49. If you didn’t hear it, did it even happen?
You can use this rhetoric question to make your passenger chortle after a slight car accident.
50. It’s fine, I only do this every other day
If you were the one driving and the accident happend, you can use this funny remark to make the tension lighter. It’s all sarcasm.
Final Thoughts
We’ve just gone through fifty of the funniest things you can say after a car accident happens.
The fun part is that you can say this at any point after the accident. It doens’t necessarily has to be at the scene of the accident.
Also, it’s best to use these hilarious remarks when the accident is not a fatal one. If it is, we recommend you stir clear from trying to sound funny.
