Have you ever wondered what people say to their pets? If you have a cat, I’m sure you might have wondered if they can understand you.
Well, you wouldn’t know until you say something to it.
In this article, you’ll discover funny things people say to cats. From rants about their day, and giving instructions to just random talks, you’ll find out that you can tell your cats just about anything. Keep reading.
50 Funny Things People Say to Cats
Below are 50 funny things people say to cats:
- Don’t stare at me, I’m not giving you this fish
- You are having the couch today
- I’m just emotional right now, I need a hug
- Thank God I have you, who would I have spoken to?
- Pass me the remote, please
- You’ve got to be kitten me!
- Can’t you see, I’m not feline fine
- Come on, did you eat the steak?
- I know you’re the one who drank my milk, only you have the audacity
- You look so cute today
- Can’t you just fill your dinner bowl yourself?
- Don’t be mad at me, I’m still your mother
- Come have a bath, the water is super nice
- I see you wanna cuddle, but I’m having my boyfriend over today
- It’s Netflix and chill time!
- Should I turn off the light?
- No meowing please, let your mama sleep
- I no longer want to hear any meow or purr in this house!
- It’s bedtime, I’m not kitten
- It’s just soapy water, not acid
- I know you’re the smartest cat in the neighborhood, but we’re not going outdoors today
- I know you’ve got pretty eyes, but no milk for you
- Do you think you can teach me how to stare at my crush so lovingly?
- Let’s see if you can convince other cats to join our clubs
- Meow over, I’ve got some gist for you
- Would you like some treats? I’m going for some groceries
- I think I should take napping lessons from you
- Do you think you could teach my kids how to sleep with such dedication?
- I’m so jealous of you, I go to work every day while you stay home all day, yet we get to share the money
- How do I look?
- Are you trying to tell me something, speak louder?
- We should probably introduce you to the cat-chattering contest.
- What’s going on with you, do you need a wife?
- Are you trying to mark me?
- Hey, I haven’t gotten my kitty kisses today
- What are you doing in my favorite space?
- Do you want to learn from the best?
- I haven’t forgotten you kitty, mama is just very busy
- You’re probably wondering why I’m staring at you peeing. I’m sure you now know how it feels to intrude on privacy
- You can keep scratching all you want, but you’re not getting in
- Go out like your mates and hunt, and stop disturbing me
- Are you fighting with the dog? Tell me what happened
- I can see you want some alone time, so I’ll let you be
- Go and play some games with the dog, maybe meow and bark game
- Can you step out from the front of my screen, not that you’d understand anything
- Now that I’m all yours, how may I help you?
- If I give you some tuna, will you go and play with the kids?
- You’re just as stubborn as a cat
- I wish you could follow me too, but they’ll stain your white
- Why are you ignoring me, I’m not trying to ask you out
Don’t stare at me, I’m not giving you this fish
“Don’t stare at me, I’m not giving you this fish” is one of the things you can say to your cat. It’s a funny way to let them know you won’t give them the fish you’re eating no matter the look they give you.
You are having the couch today
“You are having the couch today” is another funny thing to say to your cat. It will work when you want your cat to sleep on the couch and not with you on the bed. They’d probably follow you to the bed in the end.
I’m just emotional right now, I need a hug
“I’m just emotional right now, I need a hug” is an emotional but hilarious thing to tell a pet.
Anyone who hears you tell this one to a cat is sure to find it funny.
Thank God I have you, who would I have spoken to?
Another laughable thing to tell your cat. This statement will work if you live alone with your cat. It sounds quite silly, but it does appreciate them for making you not feel lonely.
Pass me the remote, please
“Pass me the remote, please” is a hilarious request to make of your cat. Of course, you’re still going to move to get the remote, except your cat has learned to understand you.
It’s something you can say when you feel too exhausted to get the remote yourself.
You’ve got to be kitten me!
“You’ve got to be kitten me!” is an amusing thing to say to show your frustration or surprise to your cat.
The creative pun makes it more interesting.
Can’t you see, I’m not feline fine
This one is another creative thing to say to your cat. This pun will work perfectly when your cat is trying to be playful but you’re not in the mood.
Come on, did you eat the steak?
This one is a question to ask your cat if you can’t find your steak, especially if you’re living alone. It’s the perfect way to accuse them of eating it.
I know you’re the one who drank my milk, only you have the audacity
Another jolly way to speak to your cat is to accuse it of drinking your milk. After you have finished your can of milk yourself, just look at your cat and accuse it; I’m sure it will forgive you.
You look so cute today
“You look so cute today” is the perfect thing to say to your cat first thing in the morning. While it might not be understood, lovingly using such kind words has a way of getting to it.
Can’t you just fill your dinner bowl yourself?
This one is a ridiculous but justifiable question to ask your cat.
It shows the stress you go through having to feed it probably after a long day at work. While it doesn’t mean you hate your cat, it hilariously indicates that you can be tired sometimes.
Don’t be mad at me, I’m still your mother
Asking your cat not to be mad at you is one of the interesting things to say to it. It’ll work well when it’s neglecting you, probably after you have scolded it.
Adding that you’re the mother adds fun, reminding it that you take care of it.
Come have a bath, the water is super nice
“Come have a bath, the water is super nice” is a perfectly jolly way to cajole your cat to have a bath. Cats usually don’t need to have baths, that’s why many of them are scared of baths.
So, attempting to convince them that the water is nice is one of the funny ways to talk to your cat.
I see you wanna cuddle, but I’m having my boyfriend over today
This one will work when your cat keeps hanging around you, but you want it far away.
It’s a playful way to tell it to give you some space. Whether you have your boyfriend coming over or not, it won’t know.
It’s Netflix and chill time!
“It’s Netflix and chill time!” is the ideal way to invite your cat to Netflix and chill with you.
Works well when you’re alone with the cat.
Should I turn off the light?
“Should I turn off the light?” is a funny but relevant question to ask your cat. It shows you care about it and its feelings. The fact that you know it won’t reply to you makes it more fun.
No meowing please, let your mama sleep
“No meowing, please, let your mama sleep” is the ideal thing to say to warn your cat to allow you to sleep.
Also, it’s another hilarious way to talk to your cat and gently scold it when it’s making a noise. Referring to yourself as its mama is cute and funny.
I no longer want to hear any meow or purr in this house!
Another playful way to warn your cat to desist from making noise. It’ll work well when you use a stern voice and give it a serious look.
It’ll probably stop, not that it understood what you said, but the tone of your voice and look does the trick.
It’s bedtime, I’m not kitten
This one is another jolly way to cajole your cat to go to bed. “I’m not kitten” replaces “I’m not kidding” to add humor.
It’s just soapy water, not acid
“It’s just soapy water, not acid” should work well to convince your cat to have a bath. It’s a hilarious statement that would fly over their head.
I know you’re the smartest cat in the neighborhood, but we’re not going outdoors today
This one will work well if your cat wants to join you outside or tries to go outside the house. It’s an amusing yet beautiful way to appreciate it.
I know you’ve got pretty eyes, but no milk for you
This one is the ideal answer to provide your cat when it hangs around and cutely looks at you for milk. It gently and teasingly dismisses it.
Do you think you can teach me how to stare at my crush so lovingly?
Cats sure do have a loving gaze. This statement is one of the jolly ways to communicate with your cat. Also, a beautiful way to compliment it for its pretty eyes.
Let’s see if you can convince other cats to join our clubs
“Let’s see if you can convince other cats to join our clubs” is one of the conversations to have with your cats. A perfect and hilarious way to keep each other company.
Meow over, I’ve got some gist for you
This one is another exciting way to converse with your cat. “Meow over” is a play on the phrase “move over.” Moreover, saying you’ve got gist for it indicates that you enjoy its presence.
Would you like some treats? I’m going for some groceries
This one is the perfect thing to say while leaving for the store for some groceries. Of course, you’d get some treats, but the longing gaze should leave some warmth in your heart.
I think I should take napping lessons from you
“I think I should take napping lessons from you” is another interesting conversation to have with your cat.
This one shows that you’re wowed by its capability to nap peacefully always.
Do you think you could teach my kids how to sleep with such dedication?
Here’s another interesting request to make for your cat. We know how difficult it is to get kids to sleep, especially during the day. So, this question sounds laughable but makes a lot of sense.
I’m so jealous of you, I go to work every day while you stay home all day, yet we get to share the money
This one is the perfect thing to say to rant. Maybe your cat will understand you after all.
How do I look?
You should normalize asking your pet how you look before stepping out of the house if you live alone with one.
This question will work well for your cat, its gentle tilt of the head is all you need to know you’re good to go.
Are you trying to tell me something, speak louder?
A perfect thing to say to your cat when it’s staring, meowing, and probably chattering around you.
We should probably introduce you to the cat-chattering contest.
You should tell this to your cats if it’s fond of chattering, that is, making some noises with their teeth.
What’s going on with you, do you need a wife?
This one is a funny but cute question to ask your cat when it’s acting so lonely and bored. It shows you care about it and are ready to provide a partner for it if it says yes.
Are you trying to mark me?
You should ask your cat this question if it’s licking and rubbing all over you. Cats rub their heads on their owners just as they rub on furniture to leave their scent. It’s a behavior that shows they admire you as theirs.
Hey, I haven’t gotten my kitty kisses today
A cute thing to say to your cat when it’s yet to blow you its kitty kisses. You might wonder how it does that. Just watch for when it slowly blinks at you with its lovely eyes.
What are you doing in my favorite space?
The perfect question to ask when your cat is curled up on your favorite seat.
Do you want to learn from the best?
A ridiculous but reasonable question to ask your cat when it’s all over when you’re trying to work. Haven’t you noticed your cat comes to sit on your keyboard or books just when you’re about to get busy?
I haven’t forgotten you kitty, mama is just very busy
Another hilarious but cute thing to say to your cat when it’s trying to get your attention but you’re busy.
You’re probably wondering why I’m staring at you peeing. I’m sure you now know how it feels to intrude on privacy
A silly thing to say to your cat when it is in its litter box. It’s the perfect jolly way to get back at your cat for never respecting your privacy.
You can keep scratching all you want, but you’re not getting in
A playful way to dismiss your cat when it tries to get under the cover with you.
Go out like your mates and hunt, and stop disturbing me
A rude but funny thing to say to your cat that doesn’t like the outdoors.
Are you fighting with the dog? Tell me what happened
If you have a cat and a dog, you should ask the cat this question if you notice both of them are not play with each other.
I can see you want some alone time, so I’ll let you be
Here’s another thing to say to your cat when it’s giving you attitude and wants to be alone.
Go and play some games with the dog, maybe meow and bark game
Another comical thing to say to your cat is to dismiss it when it wants your attention but you’re too busy to give it.
Can you step out from the front of my screen, not that you’d understand anything
Here’s another way to play and joke with your cat when it wouldn’t let you work.
Now that I’m all yours, how may I help you?
Another interesting question to ask your cat when you finally give it the attention it seeks.
If I give you some tuna, will you go and play with the kids?
A hilarious way to bribe your cat when it doesn’t want to let you be by yourself.
You’re just as stubborn as a cat
Yeah, it’s a cat, that’s why.
I wish you could follow me too, but they’ll stain your white
A silly and funny thing to say to your cat when it wants to go with you outside.
Why are you ignoring me, I’m not trying to ask you out
Another hilarious question to ask your cat when it’s giving you some kitty attitude.
