If you keep pets like cats, you’ll agree with me that they can be a handful to take care of. However, it can also be fun and interesting to live with and take care of this cute feline creature.
And, what if they could talk?
I’m sure you must be wishing to hear their innermost thoughts. Unfortunately, that can’t be the case. But we’re allowed to imagine all the possible things cats would say if they were given the ability to talk.
In this article, I’ll be taking you through some funny things cats would say if they could speak.
If you’re a cat owner, you’ll certainly agree with many of them, from complaints about their owners ignoring them to some silly tricks they plan. Let’s get right into them.
20 Funny Things Cat Would Say if They Could Talk
There are numerous things a cat would say if they could talk. If they’ve got a mind, thousands of thoughts will be running through it daily. It’s just unfortunate they can let out only a “meow” or “purr.”
Some of the things a cat would say if they could talk include: “If you think you can ignore me, I’m just gonna sit right in your face,” “Sometimes this carton feels so comfy than my bed” “Who are you preparing that bath for? It can’t be me, I’m off,” and several more.
Below are 20 hilarious things a cat would say if they could talk:
- Now that my folks are not around, let me eat these sofas
- Yes, it was me who ate that steak, stop staring like you don’t know
- I’m not only cute, I can also be wild. Don’t come any closer or I might just tear you into pieces
- I’m tired of feeding from my bowl, I prefer eating from several bowls in the kitchen
- If you think you can ignore me, I’m just gonna sit right in your face
- Maybe if you let me out the door and I get to hunt or engage with other cats, you’ll accord me the respect I deserve
- Sometimes this carton feels so comfy than my bed
- How can you think you can have all this bed to yourself, I’m coming in right now
- Now you’ve brought a dog and you expect both of us to be friends. No, I’m not having it
- Those cat calls I do at night are actually to disturb your sleep
- You think we don’t like good things too. Since you can’t get me a fancy water fountain, I’m going to keep drinking from your kitchen tap
- Hello! Wake up! I just about need more sleep than you do since I didn’t sleep at night, but right now my food is more important
- Hello, can’t you see I’m cute, can’t you give me the attention I deserve?
- I’m showing you my tummy for you to admire it and not rub those filthy hands on them
- I see you’re trying to fix my new bed, but I’ll just keep sleeping on your work documents on the table
- I’m also kind like your boyfriend who brings your flowers, but I’m kinder because a bird for a gift is just what you need
- I know it won’t take long for you to find the pee on your favorite coach, I’ll just go find those weird spots and stay for now
- I don’t know what makes you think I like wearing those female clothes, give me some male pants and a hat
- Who are you preparing that bath for? It can’t be me, I’m off
- I know you bought this fancy store feed to impress me, but I truly prefer those fish that come from your kitchen
Now that my folks are not around, let me eat these sofas
Your cat eats your couch, right? Maybe they’re yet to succeed, probably because the couch material isn’t good for them. But, that doesn’t mean they haven’t attempted.
Couch eating is one of cats’ habits. And if you’re lucky enough to remember on time, you should cover your coach with materials they can’t bite into until you train your cat not to eat it.
So, this is one of the hilarious things your cat would likely say once you step out of the house.
Yes, it was me who ate that steak, stop staring like you don’t know
The day you forget to keep your steak where your cat can’t reach, you probably won’t find it by the time you remember.
And once you can’t find the meat, your cat would be your first suspect or only suspect if you don’t have anyone living with you.
So, this is probably what your cat would say once you give it a death glare for eating your food.
I’m not only cute, I can also be wild. Don’t come any closer or I might just tear you into pieces
When your cat is giving you attitude, this is likely what is going through its mind.
You should never force your cat to do anything. Once your cat shies away when you attempt to pet or hold it, let it be. It’s likely a warning that it could tear you into pieces. I’m not sure you want to find out if that is what is on its mind.
I’m tired of feeding from my bowl, I prefer eating from several bowls in the kitchen
When your cat leaves its bowl of food and visits your kitchen, it must have muttered these funny words to itself.
Cats, too, like humans, can get tired of the same routine daily. Once in a while, they’d like to experiment with other things, and that includes visiting your kitchen for something that could entice it.
If you think you can ignore me, I’m just gonna sit right in your face
Here’s another laughable thing a cat would say if it could talk. Trust me this feline creature knows how to seek attention when they want it.
For instance, just when you’re about to work, they get on your table and lie in front of your computer. Or when you want to take a nap, they get into bed with you to snuggle into your face.
They must’ve muttered these words with mischief just before getting in your way.
Maybe if you let me out the door and I get to hunt or engage with other cats, you’ll accord me the respect I deserve
If you always keep your car indoors, this statement is probably what it’ll scream at you if it could talk.
Your cat that has never stepped outside or has stepped outside on very rare occasions might be boiling and curious to know what is beyond the door.
Also, it might even be thinking about the animals it could’ve hunted for you to prove its worth.
Sometimes this carton feels so comfy than my bed
You probably have seen your cat on several occasions leave its comfy bed to squeeze itself inside a cartoon and some other weird and tiny places.
It’s quite baffling. However, it’s just one of their strange behaviors.
One of the things your cat might say when you catch it in a cartoon is, “Sometimes this cartoon feels so comfy than my bed.”
How can you think you can have all this bed to yourself, I’m coming in right now.
Just before your cat jumps into bed with you, it must have said these words to itself.
Think about it, why would you have your huge bed all to yourself? So, I agree with your cat. And if you don’t have a partner, your cat is more right.
Now you’ve brought a dog and you expect both of us to be friends. No, I’m not having it
If you have a cat and you’re planning to get a dog, your cat might not be having it.
Think about it, that’s why we have the phrase “it rained cat and dog” in the first place. Although cats can live happily with dogs, not all cats can.
So, you should ask your cat before getting a dog to live with it. But, if you don’t, it’s likely to say these words.
And if you notice some hostility between them, then we’re right on those words.
Those cat calls I do at night are actually to disturb your sleep
Don’t be surprised that your cats make all those noises at night to keep you awake.
There are many reasons why cats yowl at night and boredom is one of them. So, some of these nights when they’re bored, and they can’t play with you, they yell loudly.
You think we don’t like good things too. Since you can’t get me a fancy water fountain, I’m going to keep drinking from your kitchen tap
Ever seen your cat drink from your kitchen sink? This is probably what they’d say before getting right into it.
Cats have this weird behavior of drinking from kitchen sinks. And if you’ve seen yours, then it’s your cue to get them something similar- a water fountain that’ll drop water into their mouth.
Hello! Wake up! I just about need more sleep than you do since I didn’t sleep at night, but right now my food is more important
Yes, your cat would say something like this right before waking you up in the morning.
Remember their cat yowl at night? They must’ve spent some hours on that, but they’re likely still going to wake before you to wake you for their food or just because they’re bored.
Hello, can’t you see I’m cute, can’t you give me the attention I deserve?
If you catch your cat staring at you while you work or do some other things, they’re probably saying, “Hello, can’t you see I’m cute, can’t you give me the attention I deserve?”
At this moment they’re certainly going to welcome a hug or some petting. You have to pay attention to find out.
I’m showing you my tummy for you to admire it and not rub those filthy hands on them
When you see your can’t with their back on the ground, showing you their tummy, it’s not a sign for you to touch and rub their belly.
Cats rolling on their backs is usually a sign of trust for their owners, however, touching their bellies might lead them to be aggressive.
So, when you see your cat on its belly, it’s likely saying, “Admire but don’t touch.”
I see you’re trying to fix my new bed, but I’ll just keep sleeping on your work documents on the table
When your cat leaves their plush bedding and comes to lie on the papers on your table, this is what they probably say.
Try as much to get them off the table, they keep coming back. So, you better keep your work documents in a safer place.
I’m also kind like your boyfriend who brings your flowers, but I’m kinder because a bird for a gift is just what you need
Do you let your cat out and they return with a gift, like a bird they hunted?
While presenting this gift, they’re likely saying how better off they are than your romantic partner.
I know it won’t take long for you to find the pee on your favorite coach, I’ll just go find those weird spots and stay for now
When your cat pees on your coach or any part of your house, this is what they would say.
So, if your cat refuses to welcome you when you return from wherever you’ve been too, they’re probably going to their hiding place.
I don’t know what makes you think I like wearing those female clothes, give me some male pants and a hat
When your cat refuses the female dresses you’re trying to put on it, it’s likely telling you to get it into male clothes.
So, maybe switch up and see if that’s what it has been saying.
Who are you preparing that bath for? It can’t be me, I’m off
Many cats don’t like baths. But if you want to bath yours, it should be once in a while except there’s a good reason for it.
So, when your cat struggles to get into the bath when you attempt to bathe it, it’s telling you it doesn’t want it.
I know you bought this fancy store feed to impress me, but I truly prefer those fish that come from your kitchen
This one is another funny thing your cat would say to you if it could talk.
When your cat prefers fish from your kitchen, they’re telling you that’s what they want. You should listen to them.
Summarily
These are just a few of the numerous hilarious things a cat would say if they could talk. If you have one, join in the fun by adding yours.
